Heart And Soul
by MX5
Summary: This story spans about 3 years of Ruby and Jim's newlywed life. The two years after Jim disappears Ruby becomes a doctor at a clinic and faces her own challenges. When Jim comes back, he finds Ruby was kidnapped and has conceived a child from a sexual assault.
1. Chapter 1

Heart and Soul

A/N: Spoiler-Ruby's baby has no brain. If your sensibilities are disturbed by this, do not read.

Chapter 1: Ruby's Diary part 1

TWO YEARS LATER

JIM POV

"Ruby, I'm home!" Jim Moriarty stepped over the threshold of the townhouse, throwing his greatcoat. He glanced around, noting hardly anything was out of place since he'd left it two years ago. Jim still looked the same, with a five o'clock shadow on his face. He brushed his hair back with his hands, trying to look presentable for his one and only Ruby.

Something brushed up against his leg, making him bend over to see what it was. A furry calico cat looked up at him expectantly, meowing to be held. "Well now, who are you?" he obeyed the animal, holding up the cat who nuzzled him under the chin. He put the cat down, trying to ascertain what exactly was going on. Ruby was nowhere in sight.

He went over to the staircase and ascended it, expecting to see the office converted into a nursery for the new arrival, but stopped short when he saw it.

The office looked exactly the same. The bedroom looked the same as well so he had no idea what had gone on in his absence.

"What went on here?" the cat meowed like it was trying to tell him. When he glanced down at the cat, it went over to the desk in the corner, hopping up onto the office chair then the desktop. Jim went over and sat in the office chair, fumbling through Ruby's personal correspondence.

A spiral bound notebook caught his eye in lurid fluorescent green. It was unlabeled but Ruby had scrawled her name in the upper right hand corner of the flyleaf. The notebook had been well used, as a few of the pages were a bit damp like some tears had splashed onto it.

"Trying to tell me something?" the cat nudged Jim's hand with one paw. Initially he didn't think that Ruby would like it if he had gone through her personal diary.

Turning over to the first page, Jim found an inscription written in Ruby's fine handwriting. "To Jim Moriarty, my husband, my life, my heart. If anything happens to me, I wish you to read these diaries and find out what has become of me. I love you so much."

Jim glanced up at the cat. A photograph on the desk attracted his eye, he picked it up, then gave the back of the photo a passing look. The photo was of the cat and it had the name on the back. "Cassidy, one year old."

"Well then Cassidy," the cat curled up on the side of the desk, affixing Jim with her green eyed stare. He gave her a pat on the head and turned back to the diaries at hand. "you led me right to it." without a doubt on his mind now, he began to read.

Jim's been gone for two months now and I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm pregnant. When I got pregnant by my ex, I had no morning illness whatsoever. I suspect that was because I was so malnourished at the time. This time I can tell of course it's for real. I bought a test so let me go confirm my suspicion.

OK, yes I am. I'm thrilled and scared to death at the same time. I'm terrified that I might lose the baby due to miscarriage (Jim that is not directed at you.). It is my first child and I want to raise it well and have a one-year-old ready for Jim to love when he gets back.

I've never been one to sit around and wait for things to happen. I need to make some phone calls and make sure I can get into the doctor's office right on Monday. I'll be really pissed at myself if I neglect my child!

The calls have been made, I'm in first thing on Monday morning. I went over to the kitchen to shut the window over the sink and I had the oddest feeling that Jim was watching me. He has been gone almost three hours and while I'm not a clingy type to miss him this early, I would say that starting tomorrow I can definitely start missing him.

Now I'm back home from the doctor's office. I have a picture of the child and the prognosis that everything is going all right so far. I'm happy about that of course, but I will need something to take my mind off of the child and the future without Jim- at least for now.

I do not know why Jim had to leave me for however long, I think it was two years, but when he gets back it will all be for the better. Right now for my own sanity I need to put thoughts of Jim in the back of my head.

(Jim found the sonogram image of the kid and after staring at it for a moment, began to make out some human form).

I think that I'll make these diary entries monthly unless something pops up that I think I should record.

I'm remembering now that Jim and I first met mid November of last year. My ex boyfriend had beaten me, I had escaped from his abusive clutches and something inside my head kept telling me to run as fast as I could and not stop. I did just this, then after awhile, I arrived at Jim's mansion Aster Hall out in the countryside. When I had collapsed on the grounds, I didn't care what he did to me at all. He could have killed me and I wouldn't have flinched.

Funny how things turn out. He ended up becoming the love of my life and I am now carrying his child.

I'm ten weeks now and there's just a start of a bump protruding from between my hips. Got to say I am looking forward to the part where the morning illness disappears and I start feeling better. My doctor gave me a pretty powerful antiemetic but that doesn't work on a regular basis; only when it wants to.

There isn't much to record now as I'm just at the beginning of the long road ahead, but like I say I'll make monthly entries, probably get myself a cat as a companion, and maybe start thinking about plans to renovate the office as a nursery.

My other concern now is what to do with my free time? Jim said I could l get involved more in the company that he runs but he has his second in command running it now. If I start to get involved in it I could really screw it up, so I think I'll just stick to being a doctor. There's a clinic not far that needs another part time doctor.

Ten weeks, that brings me to what month am I? Two months and one week I think.

THREE MONTHS

So I have a part time job at the clinic down the road, Hillside Health Services. The manager is named Martin Daniels, abrasive but he means well. I signed on as an internist, as I didn't complete my residency as a dermatologist. Today was my first day on the job and man there are some weird people out there.

My first patient was a head case. He had some delusion about seeing some really weird things, so I referred him to a psychiatrist who can help him manage his problem better than I can.

The second one was a very obvious pregnancy with a woman who kept denying it.

"I'm not pregnant! This is what a real woman looks like!" she would keep saying as her husband kept giving me apologetic looks.

"All right!" I barked out in impatience. "Nurse, bring in the ultrasound machine, please!" he brought it, I connected it and booted it up.

"Sit down on the cot," she did. "now, I'm pregnant. Look what the monitor shows me," my fetus was in there moving around though I couldn't feel it yet. "see? That's what an unborn child looks like. Now, you on the other hand," I made to push up her shirt but she recoiled and with a few well placed words I managed to get a scan in. "there it is! A perfect 8-month-old in spite of your denial!"

Finally that wench was at a loss for words! The husband gave me a huge grateful look that I shut her up! I gave her a referral to a good OBGYN doctor, a printout of the ultrasound image, I managed to escape that weirdo.

How in the hell could you deny something like this? I never did. Sometimes the symptoms are more muted in others, but when your shape starts changing and you feel movement, that should tip you off. There is no other explanation other than alien insemination!

After lunch my patients were easier to deal with. I had several elderly patients, all of whom were very sweet and easy to diagnose. One gent was hard of hearing, I told him to go to the audiologist and get new hearing aids. The second was a lady who had a simple nosebleed but it wouldn't stop.

I put a cold compress on the nose, told her to lean forward to keep blood flow restricted, then tilt her head up. I gave her a little lidocaine which will constrict blood vessels, and within three minutes it stopped. The weather right now is very dry so I advised her to get a humidifier for her home which will decrease the amount of nosebleeds if not prevent them.

That pretty much wound up my day. I confess that I'm partial to the senior citizens that come into the clinic. Most of them are very sweet, always have a story, and I admit that I love to listen. The old guys always have something to say, very colorful, and I always end up laughing.

Last night I had a dream about Jim. He had come back to me and somehow he knew that I had become pregnant with his child. In my dream he got into bed with me, put a hand on my little bump, then whispered things into my ear while I was asleep. He told me that I would be carrying a girl and he promised to come back as soon as he was able to.

I miss him, definitely. His beautiful brown eyes, those hands of his, not to mention his great ass. He really should be here but as far as I'm concerned it was just bad timing. Neither one of us is to blame. I should not make it sound like I'm blaming him because I never will.

I have a cat now, Cassidy. One of my patients offered her to me because she was moving and cats don't travel very well. She's a one year old calico kitty with a bright personality and just makes my day.

FIVE MONTHS

There wasn't anything going on the past month as the baby was doing fine and I had spent all my time getting used to the new rhythm of my life. Cassidy gets me up at 7 AM, I go to work at 9, then if the work is slow on that day, I'll get out the ultrasound machine and look at the fetus.

Today there's a big problem. One that will really derail mine and Jim's plans for a happy family someday.

(Jim's heart sank and he read on anxiously, wondering what his wife meant).

The baby has anencephaly.

In layman's terms the baby has failed to grow a brain.

The day started out innocently enough. I was roused not by Cassidy but by something I felt as movement. It was quickening by the fetus which made me very happy when I got up. I stood in the full length mirror in the bathroom with my hands on the bump, which is about the size of half a soccer ball.

So, how can the fetus move around when it doesn't have a brain? The brain stem and essentially me. I know the cold hard reality that once the baby is removed from the umbilical cord it'll die within less than an hour. I'm the anchor which keeps it alive.

What a curve ball. The life I'm nurturing inside me can't live on its own independently once it's born. There is some good that can come out of it, though. One of the nurses, Roger, came into the break room while I was looking a bit upset. I told him what was going on, then he told me that I could do a live organ donation.

It sounds like the best thing I can do to turn a bad thing into a good thing. Some sick babies need new lungs, a liver, kidneys, etc. My baby will be born comatose as it lacks awareness of what's going on around it. It will never wake up as there's no brain to govern the eyes, motor skills, etc.

I'm really upset over this.

I miss you, Jim.

At this point in time, Jim looked up from the diary entry, fingering the ultrasound photo that Ruby had tucked into the pages. He could clearly see that the head, the most prominent feature of any fetus, was very small and missing the brain.

"My baby.." was all he said as he let the shock set in. The baby that was supposed to grow normally had failed to do exactly that. He put his head in his hands as he realized that was why the office still looked like an office. When he was away, Jim had been fantasizing about holding his son or daughter, hearing them talk, teaching them to walk, all of that.

Cassidy gave him a sideways glance, twitching her tail with a faint meow. Jim raised his head up, his eyes shining with tears. The criminal seized a tissue from the box nearby and then noticed there were tear stains on the page.

"Oh, babe… both of my babes.." he whispered, feeling his heart sink even lower. While he'd been out doing his top secret work and fantasizing about being a father, Ruby had been coping with a very difficult truth, carrying a baby that was as good as dead once it was born.

Jim had regretted going away while Ruby was pregnant but then again like she'd written, it was all bad timing on their parts. They'd only had unprotected sex while they were married, so it was not hard to predict when conception had happened.

"It was supposed to be a great thing to happen to us," Jim spoke in a low voice. "we were supposed to have a wonderful child and maybe another one later on, and we would have been great parents!"

Everything hit Jim at once as glanced over at the picture of Ruby and him on their wedding day. They were so happy then.

What was it that Ruby had once told him? Everyone needs a good cry now and then. It's healthy, let it out.

So Jim did not hold back, wishing that Ruby was there to cry with him, put her arms around him and comfort him. Funnily enough the cat was there and she hopped onto his lap. Jim stroked her short fur, allowing noiseless tears to fall from his face and drip onto the hardwood floor.

It took several minutes for him to regain his composure, soaking through several tissues in the process. He went to the bathroom, drinking water to try to replenish what he'd cried away. Jim mourned for his lost child but also for Ruby as well, angry at the fact he wasn't there for his wife when she really needed him.

"Oh, god, Ruby..." where was she?

With a sigh, he picked up the diary and began to read again.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Diary part 2

SIX MONTHS

I went to the doctor today, Dr. Marta Crawford. She's a good woman, giving me the standard ultrasound and informing me that my baby was brainless. I was almost cheerful at this point, about to wisecrack about it but something just stopped me midsentence. It wasn't appropriate to joke about a baby without a brain and I am glad I stopped myself.

"So what of the baby itself?" Dr. Crawford gently asked.

"One of my nurses already told me about the organ donation program for newborns and infants," I'd already researched the literature. "I want to do that. I want to save some lives and prevent families from grief like mine."

"You have a great heart," Dr. Crawford smiled as she entered the information into her office notes. "labor with this one should be no different than any other labor. You might find it a bit easier.."

We let that hang in the air for a few moments before she asked me about my diet and exercise regimen. I liked to walk around the block or down to the store instead of the hassle of getting out the Accord and to prevent blood clots.

On the plus side of everything I definitely look pregnant now. It was my vanity that I finally looked the part of the expectant mom!

On the other side I had to go shopping for some new clothes. I took the credit card, went to a department store, bought a few tops and pants and that was it. When I worked in the clinic I had scrubs on and those came in the sizes that I needed. At home, all I had to do was walk around in my pajamas and those were plenty big enough. My robe would be able to fit my girth just fine.

My patients today were on the crazy side on account of the full moon. I had a couple come in from wherever and both were going on about how they kept having bad sex. There was nothing wrong with them physically so I gave them a number to a licensed sex therapist and get them out of the clinic.

One guy had an inflamed appendix so I had to call ahead to the emergency room to get them ready, as that sucker was going to pop soon. I asked the ambulance driver to take him over there which he did, wished the poor guy luck, and admitted the next patient.

The next person was a real weird one. She kept hallucinating things, running around and trying to pick up invisible animals she was convinced that the exam room had. I first thought it was the Pokemon app, but she had other physical symptoms. It was clear that she was reacting to an overdose of heroin so I gave her the medicine which would counteract the effects.

We had a drug counselor on call and it was definitely the time to call her. I took the patient down to the counselor's room, gave her the file and left. What a shame it is that heroin is still such a big problem in this country.

Anyway, the next two patients were no problems at all. A guy with kidney stone trouble, easily managed. The next one had a very fussy baby which I diagnosed was colic. I treated that one, educated them on what to do, etc, and soon they were done.

What pissed me off today was hearing about a couple with their two children intent on ignoring conventional medicine for quacks with unproven methods. I may be biased but I did not believe in holistic medicine at all. In my views it was worse than whatever ailed the patient.

With my views aside, the day was uneventful. I did not have to listen to any female in pregnancy denial so I was quite happy about that. The infant rattled me a little bit as it reminded me that the baby I was carrying had no brain and would die very soon after birth.

It just wasn't fair to me or Jim. Millions of women have babies every year with hardly a problem and yet here I am, essentially carrying a baby that was going to die as soon as it was born. Why on earth couldn't Jim and I have a happy family life?

After I had supper here and fed Cassidy (note to self; keep cat food on top shelf in pantry. She will get into it), I sat on the couch to watch some TV before coming up here to write.

Was everyone out to get me today? The first show was that stupid one about teen pregnancy. I mouthed off, telling those idiots to cherish their babies and treat them very well as some people really struggled with what nature chose for them to bear. My mind wished all sorts of evilness on those slutty girls from miscarriages to God only knows.

Actually I know but the majority of what I was thinking had been more of the SAW style murders. Those were too gory so I would not put them here.

What came next was sort of my consolation prize for today, I supposed. I'd put my nightshirt on and was preparing to get to bed when I got whacked by the baby on my left side. There was a clear indentation of the baby's elbow through my skin and when I tickled it, it retreated then thrust back out.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I wished Jim was there. He would have been thrilled to see the movement and probably act like a little kid over it. I don't know if he'd ever had anyone before me who was willing to bear a child, but it didn't matter.

For me I didn't allow it to represent the fact that I was having a baby on a limited lifespan, but the fact that it could move around was a triumph in itself. I chose to focus on the little things and then face the big ones later. There was no point in me focusing on everything at once and driving myself nuts over it.

Damn. The baby's kicking me as I write this. Maybe it's telling me to go to bed.

I will say this: the third trimester as I've just gotten into has made me crazy horny. I get by but I want Jim and his pork missile to do it properly! The first time we had sex I was so damn nervous I almost stopped but Jim gently encouraged me. He knew I had a bad time with it and coaxed me to just be myself.

No wonder Aster Hall is the place in my mind I go to when I want pleasant memories. Jim had once been wounded in some plot-I never asked particulars, so I took him into the medical room and patched him up. He found it amusing that I was a doctor and about 40 miles away from anything found a medical room all fitted out and waiting for me.

Coincidence or not, it was damn convenient. I have fantasized many times about me and Jim fucking in every room of the house, on the kitchen counter, the table, the living room couch, etc. I guess these hormones are to blame!

Just the thought of sex right now is going to drive me mad until I finally go to bed. I have to sleep on my sides now to ensure good circulation which is no problem. I'm a side sleeper anyway.

My other problem is I have turned into a bit of an insomniac. My mind's all over the place, I can't settle down, I only sleep for like four or five hours at a whack. Some women would say the baby kicking all the time wakes them up but fortunately that hasn't happened yet.

I took a picture of the bump today. It's on my phone so I can show Jim when he returns. Believe it or not I really was this big at one point!

SEVEN MONTHS

There isn't much to write about today so I think I'll keep it short. The full moon is out and starting to wane and I swear to God every psycho in this city has lined up outside the clinic door to try to harass me today.

So many car accidents! I have no idea what has triggered this many but it was unbelievable. Many of the routine stitching jobs were diverted away to the clinic so my two colleagues and I had a lot to do today.

Boss moms and emasculated dads getting stitched up or waiting for their daughter or son to get stitched. One of my colleagues was bossed around until he was at his breaking point by one hectoring mom. He calmly told her to get out so he could concentrate on his work. She was insulted but security was called and she was taken out.

I had one bratty kid who would not stop running his mouth. He made snide remarks about everything-even my bump! The little jackass pointed his finger at my belly and said, "Like to spend some time flat on your back with a dick up ya?!" and he laughed.

He earned a slap across the face from me. The parents looked like they were grateful-what's so hard about giving a little slap when your kid gets fresh? My boss didn't mind as he saw the whole thing. I stitched up the little shit and sent him on his way while the mom apologized profusely.

At least I got an apology.

The multicar accident kept all of us working some overtime. It wasn't until 7 that we could close the doors and lock up. I still had to grocery shop before I went home which I did.

Putting everything away just drained me completely. I had no energy left to cook supper so I had a small snack and went to bed. Cassidy went to her bed, which strangely enough is Jim's pillow. She'll be put out when he comes back and sleeps with me again!

Now we shall see if I can sleep through the night tonight. I don't want to get my hopes up, but through some relaxing techniques I learned online I want to give it a try.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Diary part 3

MONTH 8

Now I was getting some late night insomnia which I partially blame on the baby. It keeps me up often times when it's awake and kicking so hard I swear my guts were black and blue. Cassidy has become fascinated when it happens as she often puts her paw where the indent is and meows.

I had a patient today where I saw a familiar face: Charles Magnussen. That guy as far as I'm concerned, is a total psycho nut job. Those gray eyes of his are so cold and calculating, no semblance of human emotion at all. I would not be surprised to find out he's an android or something!

Magnussen came in with a mild case of bronchitis and I was apprehensive that he would recognize me. I was disguised as Desiree the dimwitted personal assistant of Jim the first time we met and I hoped it would be the last time. He keeps up this aloof mannerism that just makes everyone shrink from him.

I did a mandatory throat culture on him, checked the vital signs, ignoring his pointed asides, trying to distract me from my job I'll bet. I was careful in my demeanor, not drawing attention to my pregnant belly, never deviating from being a doctor. Magnussen made a few remarks, trying to bait me and say that I was an unmarried mother (which is ludicrous as anyone would see that I had my wedding ring on), continued in that vein for a few moments.

Such remarks were below me and I took the high road, not acknowledging them at all. Magnussen was quelled into silence for only a minute.

"Not engaging at all I see,"

"Unless it's medically related, no," I wrote him a prescription for antibiotics. "I don't have the time to indulge your oddly teenage fantasies, Mr. Magnussen."

"Ah, touche." he wasn't going to back down that easily though. He left it alone and thankfully left the clinic.

His primary care doctor was listed on his paperwork so without a thought, I picked up the phone and called.

"Dr. Jeffrey Hammond's office."

"Hello, this is Dr. Gray," I automatically picked up the narrative. "I just had a Mr. Magnussen come into my office with a mild complaint of bronchitis yet it occurs to me that Mr. Magnussen needs to have a psychological evaluation."

"Let me make a note of that." typing began to access his record.

"Mr. Magnussen strikes me as a person who has an elitist narcissistic complex coupled with schizoid personality disorder. I would recommend that he undergo the standard DSM-5 and ICD-10 mental health screenings."

"All right," the clicking stopped. "I've entered that into Mr. Magnussen's file and will alert the doctor when he has a free moment," there was a brief pause. "I technically shouldn't be telling you this but I get the same impression when Mr. Magnussen does come in."

I exhaled loudly and the receptionist laughed. "I know! The man does have something wrong with him and he needs attention."

"Hopefully he will get it. He strikes me as the type who doesn't go to the doctor for routine health checkups."

"He might brush this off entirely but it's up to him. Thank you for letting us know."

"Thanks for helping. Have a good day."

"You too." we hung up.

Some receptionists I have to deal with were real snots but I was glad I had a nice one to deal with on that matter. Furthermore Magnussen had not recognized me at all so that was one more thing I had to be thankful for.

My day at the clinic had the unique yet unwelcoming experience of a hypochondriac. There was nothing wrong with him at all so I gave him a placebo prescription, managed to con him into seeing a psychologist for psychotherapy and sent him on his way. With the hypochondria crowd you had to bluff them into doing some things and being a doctor, a little white lie did help now and then. I told this guy the doctor I recommended was an expert, he needed to go see her as quickly as he could to get the disease under control.

He believed me and was making the appointment on his phone as he was walking out of the clinic. I hoped it worked for him.

I sat down after the day was over, working on the charts, ignoring the little feet that kept trying to wallop me from the inside, only recoiling when there was a hard push on my left side.

"Your baby kicking?" Sam, one of the charge nurses walked into the charting room. "I looked like that with my first."

"I bet you did. I'm still expecting to go into preterm labor. This is my first." a particular push from the inside made quite an indent in my stretched out skin.

"The kid's ready for you, it seems."

"It'll never be ready," I said sadly. "this baby failed to grow a brain and it's only moving around because of the brain stem and me."

"Aw honey, I'm sorry." Sam used to be a maternity nurse and had seen a few of those cases. "You're going to donate the organs?"

"It's the least I can do; save some lives. I'll not have organs go to waste."

"Can't take 'em to heaven." Sam put her hand on one of my shoulders. "You're making the best of it. Good girl."

"Thanks, Sam." Sam was older than most of us and she had the grandmotherly demeanor. Most of us called her Gran when we were off duty.

"Any time you want to call me hon, and just talk, you can."

"You're the best." I smiled.

Later on that day I was absentmindedly cutting up vegetables for supper when I got distracted by a hard kick to my guts, a stoneware pan slipped from one hand and clipped me on my right hand. I dropped it on the countertop and swore angrily, wanting to just dope up the baby so it would stop moving and I could get some peace!

That night wasn't very comfortable either. I tried sleeping propped up like Sam suggested, but even that was a dud. There was nothing that stopped that little sucker from practicing acrobatics inside me and I'd about had it. I started to imagine things I could do to make it stop but I just imagined it, mind you. Babies needed my baby's organs to survive in excellent shape if they themselves were to survive.

Around 1 AM the fetus settled down and fell asleep. I went to sleep then, my heart and head longing for Jim to come back and console me.

The alarm had no need to wake me up at all. I woke up at around 7 AM, got ready for the day, then went to the clinic to see what weirdness was going to go on there. It was never boring!

Just my luck that a mother and father came in with the mom in obvious labor and the dad without a clue. He sat there and played on his phone as I examined the mom, ascertained that she was more than ready to spit the child out of her hooha, then told him what was going on.

The dad, some middle aged account executive with green eyes and brown hair that was far too long, whined that the kid was already cutting into his golf time with the boss.

Wifey already had my respect the moment she reached out and slapped her husband on the cheek, grabbing his hand and crushing it when she had a contraction. It turned out she had spent the whole night in labor, begging her husband to take her to the hospital but he wouldn't do it because hospital bills were always too high.

"You'll have more practice kissing your money goodbye as soon as the baby is here," I donned gloves. "clinics are not equipped to deal with live babies that are born here. You'll get charged twice as much."

That wasn't really true but it was worth it to see the guy's face. I called for Sam and a bassinet to be ready. The baby's head had stretched out the opening beautifully and I had to bite back a flash of envy.

"Any time you're ready you can push," I called to the mother. She had her game face on, tossing her dark blonde hair back past her shoulders, clenched her teeth, and gave it her best.

There were no problems at all; it was such an easy birth that I was very surprised and so was Sam. She took the kid which was a girl, cleaned her up and and did the Apgar scores while I delivered the afterbirth.

Dad did not want to touch the kid or cut the cord, staying welded to his phone. My respect for Mom grew when I saw her snatch the phone out of his hand and throw it against the wall. When Sam brought the little girl over, it was Mom who took her and attached her to the breast. I could tell that the dad did not think this was appropriate; like the breasts were only for him and not for babies.

"That man needs to grow up," Sam whispered in my ear as we waited outside for the ambulance to take them to the hospital. "it's not all about him."

It was late June and the heat was already starting up. I felt flushed already even though it was not noon yet. We hung around outside the back door as Sam gave my bulge-not a bump anymore-a look. "Doing OK?"

"Oh sure," I smiled faintly, one hand on the bump. "they did remind me of something that my baby does not have."

"Did they make any snide remarks to you?"

"No. Daddy dearest was too grafted to his phone."

Sam sniggered out a laugh. "Much kudos to the mom in there. She busted his ass the best way possible."

"True that. Of course my husband wouldn't be so rude."

"Have I ever met your husband?"

"No. He's off on business right now." thankfully then I saw the ambulance and we got the couple off with the new arrival. The new mom ended up naming her daughter Samantha Ruby which I thought was a sweet tribute.

"All right, it's back to business now." Sam rubbed her hands together. "It's almost tourist season so we will get sunburns and other weirdos."

Right she was. I dispensed many prescription strength aloe vera gels to inept parents and kids who were red as lobsters. What part of the reapply directions did any of these people get? Could they actually read? The more time they spent out in the sun, the more they need to reapply the sunscreen for it to work. I was sorely tempted to tell them to read the directions and throw them out for their own stupidity.

Alas the smartest person in the room meaning me, doesn't get the last word. I gave them a script and ushered them out. It wasn't long before we ran out of the aloe vera completely.

That night I was icing down my right hand from that accident the day before when I saw Cassidy stalking around. She'd caught a mouse for me and dumped it at my feet. There was such a look of smug pride on her face that I giggled and rubbed her head.

"What a good girl, Cassidy," she pawed at my hand as she tried to mooch for more head rubs. "I have to throw this out though."

She was indignant but I had to toss out the dead mouse.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Diary part 4

DELIVERY

Jim returned from the loo, having taken a break from reading the diary. He'd read nearly through the night in order to catch up, dozing off around 2 AM. By some miracle he hadn't drooled all over the diary pages. Cassidy wanted food so Jim went to the kitchen and found the cat chow.

He had a healthy breakfast himself, showering and changing his suit. By now he'd determined that Ruby had already started to resent the baby for not having a brain of its own, Magnussen had made an appearance which Ruby had quietly submitted a recommendation he have a psychological exam.

The resentment Jim reasoned, was that she and Jim had normal sex, he knocked her up, so she expected a regular pregnancy and soon the expectation would have been a healthy child they could love and cherish. But that was not the case as some unknown force had tossed a monkey wrench into the workings of her body, resulting in no brain growth. Ruby had been absolutely devastated, had known her baby wouldn't have a future.

Teenagers had healthy children so why couldn't Ruby? She wasn't of advanced maternal age, she didn't smoke, she didn't drink, so what was the problem?

Jim had been starting to feel the same way. If they wanted children they could always try again, but that wasn't on his mind at the moment. He flipped a page and became engrossed in the diary once again.

Today, August 2nd, has become a day in history for me. At this time I'm in the hospital, in definite labor now.

It happened at about 9 AM, as soon as the clinic opened. The baby had been kicking a lot more than usual but I ignored it, only thinking of the patients who needed to be seen by me.

At 12 noon I told Sam that the baby still would not stop moving around so she performed an ultrasound on me. Still no brain but I didn't care about that anymore. Sam performed a transvaginal ultrasound on me (for an insane second I thought it was Jim!) then told me I was in definite labor.

"It's not preterm, I think you're bang on time. Need a lift?"

"Um, sure. What about my hours?" I mopped up my big belly clear of the gel, accepting her hand up as I couldn't sit up now to save my life.

"I'm putting you on vacation this week. Call me next Monday so we can decide whether you need more time." we walked out to her car, Sam saw me installed in a hospital bed before she had to leave.

Not much happened after that except hours of contractions, exams, IV installations, going without food, pain management, etc. The nurse asked me if I wanted a water birth, but I said no to that. It sounded comforting, but just the idea was revolting. I chose to just use gravity as my ally.

I walked around as much as I could, ignoring other moms and the like. I'd drawn this invisible curtain around me like I wasn't allowed to be on the new mommy floor. Technically speaking I would not be a new mom. I felt very uncomfortable on the floor anyway and asked as soon as I gave birth that I be removed to a different floor. The nurse thought this was an odd request but relayed it accordingly.

When it finally came time to push, I did not want to be legs up on my back, so I opted for a sitting position where gravity could help me along. How in the hell was I going to deliver a child which didn't have a head? Was it going to be easy or what? More questions flew about in my head as I waited for the inevitable.

Making a decision about 14 hours later I decided that I'd had enough. I rang for the nurse and demanded to know who the OBGYN doctor was on call.

"Dr. Shapleigh."

"Bring him up here," I commanded. He was an older colleague and I knew him professionally. He would be reasonable to what I'd had in mind. He appeared with speedy efficiency and didn't look too thrilled that I was his patient!

"Dr. Gray. Ruby," he amended. "I do like that name."

"Thanks," another contraction hit but went away pretty quickly. "I've been in labor a long time and I'm drained. I want a C section."

"You're sure?"

"My baby has no brain thus almost no head!" I shot back. "It's been kicking the hell out of me all day and I need this to stop. Open me up and take it out!"

Dr. Shapleigh looked like he was considering it. A quick pelvic and internal exam confirmed what I had been suspicious of. "The head engaged the pelvis but because of no proper skull formation it's just staying there like a cork in a bottle."

"I don't want to think of myself like that," I groaned. "just take it out!"

"All right. Your heart's already overworked so it would be the best thing to do," he covered me up and gave orders that I be moved to the operating room. "I understand you don't want to be on the maternity ward."

"I don't," I panted. "I don't feel like I belong here."

Dr. Shapleigh gazed at me with his brown eyes as the nurses put me on a stretcher. He told me to bring all my things with me which the nurses took care of as well. He walked with me as the orderly took me down to the operating theaters.

The doctor was quite a levelheaded one and never jumped to conclusions. I remembered being impressed by that when I was an intern. He told me that I would do just fine in obstetrics but I didn't want to go into that field. He was definitely surprised when I told him I wanted dermatology but now I was an internist.

"So did you ever go into dermatology?" he read my mind it seemed.

"I never finished the residency part," embarrassed, I glanced up at the surgery sign. "life interfered." like getting beat up and meeting my husband!

Dr. Shapleigh gave me an understanding look as we went through the double doors. "It's my understanding that you want the baby's organs donated?"

"Yes." they transferred me to the operating table and the scrub nurse began constructing a screen out of a sterile drape so I couldn't see what was going on. My baby intensified the kicking and pushing, causing me to begin groaning aloud. It was like the kid knew what was going on and was determined to stop it.

"Little guy won't stop pummeling my guts." I ground out as the anesthetist came in, asked me some rapid fire questions, then began to set me up. Dr. Shapleigh tied on a mask and entered the operating theater.

"Do you want to hold it or anything when we get you delivered?"

"No," there was no point in getting attached to a baby that was going to die within minutes of getting born. "I don't want to see it, hear it, or touch it." I still had the first ultrasound picture at home so that would be my memento. Any other reminder of my child would be too overwhelming. I wanted to keep my distance emotionally, protect myself.

"Suit yourself," Dr. Shapleigh wasn't unkind when he said that. "is the father coming?"

"He's away on business. We weren't expecting this so soon." I threw out a half lie. Dr. Shapleigh disappeared behind the drape, cloaked in the blue scrubs, getting ready to do his job.

"Do you just want a nerve block or general sedation?"

"Turn my lights out if you please." I requested. The doctor chuckled and gave me a dose of Propofol. My last conscious memory was of the doctor putting a nasal cannula on me so I could breathe and keep my blood oxygen saturation level high enough.

When I woke up, a different nurse was taking my vital signs. She was one of the post anesthesia care nurses, told me that everything went fine, then with a little grin on her face, turned and went to another patient.

That bitch was judging me for what I had done. I could read contempt clear in her face. There was no attempt at friendly conversation which I found pointless anyway, but I was insanely glad the incessant movements had finally stopped.

"Thank god!" I cried weakly, trying to piss off the nurse. "I got my postbaby body back so soon! Easiest ten pounds I ever shed!"

She turned pink as soon as I finished uttering those words. "Your baby only weighed six pounds!"

"Felt much heavier to me, I can assure you." I snapped back. "Why don't you make sure I'm put on the surgical floor not the maternity one?"

"What? Your baby-"

"My baby was born without a brain and the organs are to be donated to little ones in need. I want to be on the surgical floor because I am not a new mother."

Her expression didn't change as I'm sure her opinion of me didn't. Duly I was taken to the surgical floor and was put in a private room. Privately my heart was screaming for Jim to be there, to take me in his arms and comfort me. He would have taken care of me and we would have mourned together the child we lost.

During the nights I was hospitalized I had dreams of me and Jim being happy parents which was sweet torture. That hunky babe of mine was gone a year now and I really missed him.

"Jim, where are you?" I asked one night when it was raining, letting a tear fall.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Arrogant Jerk

A thunderstorm shocked Jim from his diary reading. He stood up and went to the window, reminiscing on what he had just read.

Ruby had been through a lot and she deserved a proper honeymoon. Jim resolved to take her away from all the stress she had been through. Hands behind his back, he could just imagine the scene. Ruby lying sedated on the table, the doctor cutting through her skin and muscle layers, then finally cutting through the uterus itself. The doctor would pull out the baby while the nurses kept Ruby's exposed innards clean, clear out the nose and throat and weigh the infant.

Of course the kid would not make a sound and was essentially on borrowed time. The doctor would clean it up, declare the baby dead when it happened, then relinquish it to the organ donation team which would harvest the organs.

Jim was glad Ruby had decided to donate the baby's body so other babies could get a second chance. He would have done the same thing if it was him. Ruby had been very calm and rational from the beginning. The diary didn't speak of her vulnerable moments, all the times she had broken down and cried, etc, but Jim knew that it had happened. She was human after all.

The diary didn't have many entries after that. Jim came upon many one line entries, often detailing a diagnosis or angry patient, etc. Several entries had the single line too depressed to write today. Months had gone by with that entry in it. December had the augmented entry that she was depressed and chose to work Christmas Day.

"Sir," Seb found his employer standing at the window as a loud roll of thunder shook the house. "Ruby's been kidnapped."

"By who?" Jim's voice was as dark as the outside clouds.

"Your old client Masters."

"That old fool?" Jim scoffed but realized he shouldn't have. Morgan was a troublemaker who always put his nose into someone else's business.

"My sources say that Ruby's been gone for almost two weeks now."

"We need to find her, Seb. She'll be glad to see us!" Jim went downstairs, snatched his overcoat and with Seb on his tail, both jumped into the waiting car and sped away.

Harold Masters was as every bit as arrogant as Jim remembered. He had slimmed down a small bit during the criminal's absence, his hair and beard were freshly dyed black. He looked pleased to see Jim Moriarty in his office again after the two years he'd gone missing.

"Well now, Harold," Jim sat himself down without waiting for an invitation to. "I presume you know why I'm here."

"Missing someone, I think," Masters helped himself to brandy though it wasn't even noon yet. "I'd offer you some, but it's for guests only, not intruders."

Jim's mind dredged up his own record on Masters. He was the CEO of a cybersecurity firm, one used by the MI6 and MI5 divisions, the Department of Defense, and so on. It seemed like all the municipalities of London had his security protection on all their computers.

"How would you know I was missing someone?" Jim was always quick on the uptake.

Masters nearly choked on his brandy, something Jim did not miss. The CEO was the type of person to shoot off his mouth and think later. As he watched, Masters made a little swipe at his mouth to get rid of the brandy, then sat down.

His arrogance restored, he set the glass on the desk with a little clink. "Come now Jim, is anyone really safe in this day and age?"

"Are they?" Jim leveled his icy brown stare at Masters. In his time away he'd noticed that Masters, who used to quiver in his mere presence, had gotten more confident and yet more arrogant. The two did seem to go hand in hand, alas, he thought.

"In my protection they are, but I digress. Who is really safe out on those nasty old streets of London?"

"A question does not answer a question," Jim was quickly getting angry. "you are going to tell me what you did to my wife!"

Unbeknowst to Masters, Seb was downstairs in one of the vacant offices, plugging in a flash drive to one of the main database computer banks. The ex army man was usually the best at guns and physical protection, but he'd been trained in rudimentary computer functions and was copying the CEO's entire private email record. Jim wore an earpiece to stay in touch with his subordinate, as he knew getting information out of Masters was likely to be too difficult.

"I would have to agree with you there, Jim. Two questions do not make an answer." Masters agreed, getting himself another drink. "I did hear through the grapevine that you married a few years ago to a so-called doctor."

"She's the real deal."

"She operate on you?"

"Yes." a certain cyst removal came to his mind.

"Suffice it to say Jim, that a lot of your former clients that you fleeced would be happy to see you dead." Masters smirked like he couldn't wait for that to happen. "And piss on your grave."

"You can't imagine what I'm going to do to your tombstone once your old ass dies!" Jim snarled.

"Manners, Jim. You won't get any information from me like that."

"Let's be frank, Harold. You don't intend to give me any information on my wife." Masters really looked taken aback now. Jim got up and went over to his foe's side of the desk. "Either you return her to me intact and alive, or I can send my bodyguard to kidnap you," he hissed the word kidnap low so the security cameras would not pick up on it. "he's very skilled in the ways of torture."

"Are you threatening me?"

Jim smiled and leered at him unpleasantly. "I'm simply spelling it out for you. My bodyguard will do unmentionable things to you while you're still alive. It will take days and excruciating pain for you to die. Are you familiar with the Tudor penalty for treason?"

Masters was drawing a very obvious blank so Jim was happy to fill him in. "They hang them enough so that you are in pain, cut you down, disembowel you so you wear your intestines around your neck, draw and quarter you, then cut off your head. My bodyguard will find a way to make you feel every second of pain." Jim's face was partially shaded in black, adding fresh menace to every word he spoke.

"Done, boss," Seb's voice filtered into his earpiece. "leaving now."

Masters appeared unruffled, but Jim could see the cords in his neck were standing out, his jaw was twitching a little bit. Carelessly Jim shrugged, showing Masters the shoulder holster with a semiautomatic pistol in it.

"Daddy's had enough of your guessing games," the tone in his voice was neutral but the look in his eyes said he wanted Masters to burn in hell. The CEO visibly flinched as Jim leaned in the close the physical gap across the desk. "I can BURN you with one little finger."

Masters froze as Jim backed off, certain he got his point across, then went for the door. "I'll get you for this, Moriarty."

"Not if I get you first!" he sang out, opening the door and leaving the office.

The CEO sank down in his chair, not realizing it was wet until he sat in it. He'd knocked over the brandy glass. Damn.

"Here ya go, boss," Seb handed Jim the flash drive as the latter got into the backseat of the car.

"Excellent. I'll run these through tonight. How did Ruby seem to you before she disappeared?" he put the drive in his blazer pocket.

"Well, she made a friend, sir. It was an old teacher of hers and they'd run across each other at the farmer's market," Seb recalled. "I'd dropped off a few things for her and met him."

"It's a him?"

"Oh yes sir. The two of them were visiting over coffee and havin' a nice chat."

"Sure that was all they were doing?"

"Of course, sir," Seb assured him. "Ruby told me that she'd never touch another man. Said she'd never need to as long as she had you no matter how long you were gone for."

Gratified, Jim was surprised when he found a tear spring to each eye. Ruby was extremely loyal and he had no reason or doubt to question it. Seb smiled at his boss in the rearview mirror.

"That kind of love's rare today, sir." was all he needed to say.

"Indeed it is, Seb." Jim let his mind go over the memories he had of them together. For some reason it was always the ultrasound image of the child which always came to mind and he finally knew why.

It was a representation of two people's love for each other.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: The Diary Part 5

Jim plugged the flash drive into his laptop, set it to search for several keywords and pressed enter. The database was big so he didn't expect it to finish within an hour or so, picking up Ruby's diary and proceeding with it.

After Christmastime, the clinic started to fill up a little more. I'd spent the holiday sitting with my feet up in the reception area as nobody came in. Since I'd been discharged from the hospital a few weeks ago, Seb had come in every day to check on me.

He was a nice guy, arriving to the hospital's front entrance and helping me into the car when they finally let me go home. Seb drove me home like I was plate glass about ready to break! He guided me in every step of the way until I was able to dismiss him, change into my pajamas, then go and rest on the bed.

It was nice to see my toes again! I'd had my wounds laser treated so they wouldn't burst open and ooze. All I had to do was take it easy until they healed up properly. Two weeks and I could get back to work.

My wounds didn't seem to want to heal over that time frame! I had trouble getting up from lying flat down so I propped myself up which worked OK. I'd always had a fear of getting addicted to any kind of pain medication so I only took it if it was really bad. Fortunately it rarely got that way.

Dr. Shapleigh tended to me in the postsurgical visit, making sure my body was up to scratch again. He complimented me, commented on how well my body was healing up, then said I could go back to my normal clinic duties.

So Christmas was a drag, but New Year's was eventful-the clinic was closed as it was a holiday, so I could see on TV how many people would be hungover the next day.

As for me, I didn't think New Year's was anything special to celebrate as I was always up half the night. All I wanted was Jim and the New Year's Eve kiss at the stroke of midnight like we'd done once before.

Life went on as usual. I didn't have much of an eventful winter, save for some storms and London's inability to get some of the snow out of the city.

The wintertime brought some depression for me. I worked hard for my money, put most of it in my account, etc, but the emptiness I kept feeling since Jim left seemed to be growing. I remembered that I was first diagnosed as pregnant just after New Year's and for a moment, I wished that I was pregnant again. It was nice to not feel alone, as the pushing and kicking let me know that at least someone was there with me. Even if they were not comprehending what I said they were responding to my voice.

But there was no point in looking back now. All I wanted was some companionship.

It was about mid June when that finally happened for me. I was at the farmer's market, my mind buzzing with new culinary creations I could cobble together when I bumped into someone.

"Sorry!" the guy turned towards me and I recognized him immediately. "Mr. Tremaine!"

Mr. Tremaine had been my art teacher in high school. Instead of the black hair I so vividly remembered, he was flecked with gray. He had kept himself pretty trim, keeping to his tradition of loud shirts with chino or khaki pants with sneakers. He had pale blue eyes which peered at me through a pair of rectangular glasses.

Hardly anything had changed except his hair. I wished time would be so good to me.

"Ruby?" he couldn't mistake me! I was a bit of a class clown in his classes. He used to supervise my study halls and teach me art. Back then students were required to have a full year of art credit to graduate.

"Yeah!"

"I haven't seen you in a long time," he remarked, picking over apples. "how's life?"

"Well, I'm married now." the girl at the stand held out a bag full of assorted veggies I'd picked out and slipped me my change.

"How long?"

"About a year and a half."

"Congratulations!" he made his purchases and we walked together on the main sidewalk.

"Thanks!"

"So any children?" Mr. Tremaine was doubtlessly thinking of my silly escapades with boys back then. Some things had to stay in the past!

"Well, just this past August I lost our first so no."

"I'm so sorry!" he put his hand on my arm. "What happened?"

"It was born without a brain so I donated the organs. In some little way I got to help sick babies."

"The gift that keeps on giving. You always had a big heart, Ruby."

"Thanks, Mr. Tremaine."

"We're equals now! Call me Alex."

"All right, Alex." I asked him about retirement and got such a long winded response going off into investing and that sort of thing so I don't need to record it here! We reached my front door in a few minutes where I unlocked the door.

"Want to grab coffee with me some time?" I offered.

Alex's face brightened up. His wife had left him about five years ago and both of his kids made it to college on scholarships. We were both lonely people so I suppose it was serendipity that we met up at a farmer's market.

"I'd like that. Your husband won't get mad?"

"Nah. He's off on business right now but I'll be happy to introduce you two when he gets back." I was careful not to mention him by name.

"All right then. I look forward to it." we arranged a date and time, then he left.

Alex had been one of the most patient teachers I'd ever met. He tolerated me the class clown, then a troublemaker who was always stealing other people's things and blaming them for taking his stuff. Thanks to a well placed spycam, we'd rumbled out his tricks and he got expelled.

I dumped the bag on the kitchen island, mentally planned out supper and got to work.

When the next day arrived, I met up with Alex over coffee in the coffeehouse just down the street. He rambled on and on about his family while I tried to pay attention to that. Feigning interest in people you've never met before does take up a lot of energy.

I politely cut him off before he could get long winded about whatever (as he does tend to ramble on about anything), and asked what he was teaching his art class.

Big mistake! Another long winded rambling session took place while I wished there was a drink containing more caffeine in it so I could stay alert.

When I was his student, Alex was a very attractive teacher. He had jet black hair and those eyes were lovely. I think about half the female students in his classroom tended to have crushes on him, me included. He always acted very aloof about that which was for the better.

Alex wasn't the most tactile of people which I didn't mind. I wasn't very tactile myself. When I was set to graduate I came in to say a few words of thanks when he was on break. To my surprise, he gave me a huge hug (the best I've ever had), wished me luck and said hopefully we could meet up in the future.

Since I didn't like a lot of attention focused on me, I had my name announced in the graduating party's list, then skipped out on the whole ceremony. So I had my name in the proper place, just not me there to back it up. I snatched my diploma beforehand from the stack and beat it out the door.

I think he noticed my attention was waning, so Alex brought up my graduation ceremony and asked me why I wasn't there.

Surprised, I put my coffee mug down. "Well, I'm not comfortable around a lot of people or an audience so to speak. I was never in any clubs or anything which exposed me to it."

"Really? You were a class clown so you must have been used to some attention."

"I matured past that."

"So quickly?" Alex teased. "I never would have pegged you as a quiet person. So, I want to know about that husband of yours."

I beamed, lighting right up from the inside and proceeded to tell him that my husband's name was Jim, we had a holiday home, and all of the wonderful things Jim had done for me.

"So, would you mind telling me about the baby you lost?" Alex looked concerned that I was going to jump down his throat.

"Well, I discovered that halfway through my pregnancy that the baby did not have a brain. I was absolutely crushed when I discovered this, then with the information from a nurse I worked with I decided to donate the organs."

"Excellent!"

"Thanks, Alex. I went into labor on August 2nd but it was pretty obvious that something was wrong. After a long time I demanded to see the doctor on call which was a teacher of mine when I was in med school. He and I determined that the kid wasn't going anywhere, I was tired and my heart was overtaxed, so they decided to C section it."

"Oh boy."

"Telling me. I demanded full on sedation as I didn't want to hear, see, or feel the baby after that."

"Trying to protect yourself?" Alex took a gulp from his mug.

"Yeah. I know that for me, seeing the baby would have broken me completely. I didn't want my last memory of the kid to be it with no brain, etc. I have the ultrasound from the very first visit so that will be my primary memory." we paid for the coffee and Alex walked me back to the house.

"I think you're being very smart about it," Alex remarked as we neared my townhouse. "you have the most valuable memory of all, the day you saw that image and realized that was yours and Jim's."

"It was before we noticed anything wrong."

"There you go. Do you think you might try for another one sometime?"

"I wouldn't rule it out, Alex. Jim's been away for so long I almost forgot what he looks like."

"Sure he's still.. around?"

I glanced up from fitting the key in the lock. "I'm sure he is, Alex. He's got people who can get word to me if he'd been hurt or worse."

"Good." Alex took my hand before I could stop him. "Can I come inside for a moment? Loo."

"Of course."

When he returned, Alex looked at me very intently, sitting on the couch next to me. "Now Ruby I know you, so what are you really feeling?"


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Warehouse

"How I really feel about the baby?" I shrugged. Alex wasn't buying it, just leveling me off with that glare of his he used when I acted up in class. "All right! I feel like I failed, OK? Like my body had one little task to do-create a life that would be sufficient to live outside of me and it couldn't even do that! Alex, my body let me down!"

"There's no need to be so hard on yourself, Ruby. You can't control what your body does sometimes. These things happen."

"Then why do these things happen to me?!" I cried. "Why can't Jim and I just be with each other, have children, grow old and die together like it should be?"

"This is just nature. You can't know God's plan."

He was right. There was no point in torturing myself needlessly. What happened happened and there was no going back, only forward.

"You know what, Alex? I know what I need to do now."

He suddenly looked wary. "What is that?"

"A vacation so I can heal properly. I need to alert HR at the clinic and let them know I'm taking a week off."

"Where will you go?"

"My holiday home," Aster Hall. It would be needing some upkeep about now anyway. I would put in some new plants, etc. "I'll be doing some fun stuff!"

Alex laughed as he stood up. "I'm glad to be of help to you, Ruby. Maybe I'll see you again sometime."

"In this life I hardly ever say no!" I laughed and saw him out, receiving another one of his bear hugs. "Can't thank you enough for helping me."

"You're welcome. We all have to help each other in this life." Alex gave me that same fond smile I saw just before I graduated, then he left.

ASTER HALL

I'm back here at the beloved hall. Two years ago Jim and I bonded here, we had sex for the first time, he nursed me through that miscarriage, I nursed him, etc.

The landscaping had to be done so I put on my garden gear plus hedge trimmers and went to work. All the stalks from the plants had to be trimmed down, the cypress hedges and trees needed pruning, that sort of thing.

I planted tulip and daffodil bulbs, put in some white and blue asters, pink geraniums, etc. The flowerbeds now had a suitable splash of color dotting the landscape. Rosebushes and forsythia bushes were already budding with their leaves and roses about to burst forth.

So I'm here in the bedroom Jim allocated to me previously and I'm here enjoying the cool summer evening. My primary objective while I'm here is to clean and try to clear my mind.

I'm going to relax and there won't be any more entries in my diary until I return to the townhouse.

Jim turned the page to see it was blank. Had he come to the end of the diary? There was an entry in early July, stating that she was back at the townhouse and covering another doctor's shift while they were on vacation.

Several small entries from July to September only contain a few sentences which describe some memorable patient encounters. Uninteresting to Jim, he passes over September and October to where he comes to a one line diary entry:

Happy Anniversary, Jim. I love you.

Turning another page, Jim's eyes are directed to his name in all capital letters:

JIM-I think I'm being watched. I keep seeing the same guy over and over again. It was the first guy that I gave a lap dance to though I can't remember his name. He keeps showing up to wherever I am and I think he means to kidnap me. I told Seb and he's working on identifying the guy.

If anything happens to me just know that I love you to the ends of the earth and back. You are my other half, my heart and soul.

"So she suspected it too," Jim shut the diary as the laptop beeped. He picked it up, putting it on his lap, then paged through the information it presented. "Finally the search is done!" it had taken all night and most of the day to populate the search list.

Ruby's name appeared directly in an email precisely two weeks ago. In it, Masters had directed someone named Tony to take Ruby down to a warehouse he owned near Downing Street.

The warehouse didn't have a name to it, but Jim knew of it because he'd had people in there before to scout out the place. It was just a warehouse for storing copies of his security software on CD-ROM, stowing old computers, laptops, etc. The place looked more like a junkyard than anything. Masters was too cheap to throw anything away so it was all starting to accumulate.

It was very likely Ruby was down there somewhere, Jim imagined. He texted Seb his suspicions and sent him ahead to check out the warehouse and make sure that Ruby was there before he raided it.

Saving the material to his hard drive so he wouldn't have to waste time searching again, Jim packed up his pistol, his cell phone, dressing all in black to evade any curious pedestrians.

Within half an hour, his phone buzzed. Seb had sent him a picture of Ruby. She was lying on a cold concrete floor in torn clothes with open bloody cuts and bruises. There were two guards outside her door and that was it.

Rushing out to the car Seb had ready for him, they made a beeline for the warehouse.

Getting into the building was very easy as nobody seemed to care about security at the warehouse. Knowing Masters he was probably elated every time someone had broken in and carried something off. All the old computer programs and computers were not valuable to anyone anymore and even museums wouldn't take them off their hands.

At Jim's nod, Seb scampered off to look for another entranceway into the warehouse. Jim put on his black gloves and discovered the door was stuck shut. He had to throw his weight into his shoulder to ram it open. The criminal almost fell in but caught himself.

With his pistol in his hands, he skirted the vast room, noting with distaste the dust that sat thickly on the old hardware and computers. The reason why Masters didn't throw anything away was that he had to pay to get rid of the old computers. No recycling center would take them away without charging him for it so the old computers came downstairs to die, so to speak.

Assured that nobody was in the room, Jim re-inserted the earpiece he used with Seb and began to check the side rooms one by one.

Down the hall Jim heard two shots echoing through the complex. He began to run, hearing a pained scream which only made him run faster.

"Jim, I found her." Seb reported.

The criminal found one room with the light spilling out into the corridor with a shadow of his hit man in it. The room was dank, dark except for one bare lightbulb hanging down. There were no comforts in it, not even a cot or chair. A very small window was set high up in the wall so she could get a little light and hear people walking by, but she would not be able to attract attention.

As soon as he got to the doorway, he saw both guards shot down, and in the room Seb was speaking in a low voice, trying to reassure Ruby. Jim could see she was barely hanging onto her modesty with her tattered clothes.

"Want.. Jim.." her voice was far too weak for his liking as he stood in the shadow, afraid the shock of her seeing him would be too great for her.

"He's here, Ruby," Seb told her gently. "Jim wants you."

"I want him.." her breathing was rattled, Jim guessed a collapsed lung. Just seeing her lying like a broken rag doll was infuriating to him, making him see red. He knew now exactly what he wanted to do to Masters after they got Ruby taken care of.

Seb glanced up at his boss who entered into Ruby's field of vision. Ruby took a minute to recognize him; it had been a long two years. Jim took out a tissue and mopped the blood off of her forehead. "Hello, darling." he said simply as Seb picked her up. Ruby let out a cry of pain that broke his heart to hear.

Her lips moved but there was no sound to come out. Jim put his hand on her arm but she flinched. He gave her reassuring words as they went out to the car. Jim spread out a blanket in the backseat to try to give her warmth. Seb left her in the backseat with Jim who propped her up gingerly, trying not to hurt her further.

On the ride to the hospital, Jim inspected his wife's wounds. Collapsed lung definitely from the sound of her breathing. Possible broken ribs, cuts, bruises, concussion, maybe a broken arm.

Ruby did not take her eyes off of Jim the entire time they were in the car. A tiny little smile was around the corners of her mouth.

"What is it, hon?"

"You've come to take me to heaven," she rasped. "so this is the end for me."

"Nope, I'm quite real." he put a hand to the side of her face to try to reassure her but she took no notice.

"Love you, Jim..."

"I'm not saying goodbye and you shouldn't either." he scolded. Ruby did not respond to him, her eyes rolled up in her head and closed.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Revenge

"Seb!"

"We're here," he responded quickly, barking orders to the nurses outside the emergency room. "I have a badly injured woman here! Gurney now!"

One was brought up to the car, the door wrenched open, and the nurses gently hauled Ruby out. Jim didn't like the fact Ruby was being taken from him, but he told himself that they were only there to help. An emergency room doctor had come out into the cold, questioned Jim, then they went into the warmth of the building.

"What happened exactly?"

"I don't know. I think she was attacked by some guy on the street." Jim answered, keen to save Masters so he could face his own wrath. The doctor didn't make much note of this, though scribbled down that the patient was allergic to aspirin, gave a few words of comfort to the distraught husband, then disappeared.

Two hours later the doctor came back into the waiting room. Seeing as nobody else was there, he sat down beside Jim and began to give him the lowdown on Ruby's condition.

"She's got a massive hemothorax, ruptured spleen, a concussion, and Ms. Gray has a severe left wrist sprain and some cracked ribs. She should be all right once we get in there and stabilize her."

"Then go, man!" Jim signed off on all the paperwork. "You'll be in there for a long time?"

"At least three hours. She regained consciousness and began asking for you as we were cleaning her up. We will get her mended. Ms. Gray is also dehydrated and malnourished but we can fix that up easily."

"Good." the doctor left to begin surgery as Jim glanced at Seb.

"You've got a revenge plan then, boss?"

"Yes I do."

"We'll be back before they get done." he stood up.

At the headquarters of the cybersecurity firm, Harold Masters was standing at his window facing Trafalgar Square. He had just poured out a measure of his favorite Canadian brandy, Crown Royal, and was musing over Jim Moriarty's threat.

Masters was a skinflint, a penny pincher, someone who could make Scrooge look generous in comparison. He had been desperate to advance his company a few years ago, so he'd enlisted Moriarty's help through the consulting criminal's website. Jim had risen to the challenge magnificently, releasing a custom tailored computer virus that infected every PC except the ones that had Masters's program on it.

But there was a money issue. Jim required a down payment which Masters had been happy to deliver, but after the virus was released, Masters kept deferring the full payment. Jim had been very creative with getting him to cough up the rest of the money. Masters still remembered the lap dance with that stripper girl.

"Well well," an Irish voice drawled. "we meet again."

Masters turned in fright, but when he saw Jim, he just smirked. "I heard you ransacked my warehouse."

"I found what belonged to me," Seb was in the shadows, ready to shoot when Jim told him to.

"I suppose you want to know why I kidnapped her-"

"Old news!" Jim cut him off. "I know why and be assured I am fully ready to make you pay."

Masters grinned and pulled out a checkbook. "Fine, how much do you want?"

Jim approached Masters, his face twisted into a sneer. "You think I want money?"

The CEO stopped cold with all the blood draining from his face. Jim laughed nastily as Masters took a gulp of his drink.

"Money.. the multicolored currency of the world. Makes the world go round, doesn't it?!" he raised his voice. "You blue collar types haven't got a clue what's really important."

"A good quality product does," Masters's arrogance reared up inside him. "excellent numbers in the stock market… Money's-"

"We've all heard that before, haven't we?" Jim sang out. "Money's what makes the world go ROUND!" he bellowed out the last word, causing Masters to flinch.

"But no," Jim put his hands in his pockets casually, getting too close to Masters. "money's not everything. Think of the things that are priceless in this world like your brain, your lungs, your spleen..."

Masters paled again, though he wasn't quite sure what Jim was referring to. Seb smirked in the shadows.

"The devil do you mean?" Masters barked out.

"Oh, the devil!" Jim clapped his hands together once. "He's right here in this room!" a flick of the hand towards Masters was Seb's cue and he shot the CEO. Masters's face registered shock as he crumpled to the floor.

Jim knelt down, tilting Masters's face towards him. "Organs are priceless, aren't they? Since you damaged Ruby's organs, I think I'll take yours."

"What-"

"Of course I'm not trained in that way, so I think I'll have my bodyguard do it," Seb pasted on a leer. "remember what I told you? He's very skilled. Seb, give him the treason treatment." he stood up and walked away, ignoring Masters's squeak of terror as Seb loomed over the wounded CEO, his smile growing.

At 9 AM that following morning, Jim dressed in casual jeans, sneakers and nondescript green button up shirt, bought flowers, going to the hospital to see Ruby. He was relieved to find out that she had been transferred overnight from the surgical care unit to a regular private room up on the fourth floor.

Already he saw that Ruby was looking much better. All the dirt had been washed off of her body, she had an IV in the back of her left hand. She still looked pale but that would resolve once they got her back on real food again. He put the flowers on her nightstand, then dragged up the vinyl chair to her bedside.

The nurse had told him Ruby would need some respiratory therapy to help her lungs, they were watching her closely though the concussion wasn't as bad as they thought. Her spleen was fixed, her ribs were taped up, and she had a compression bandage on her bad wrist.

"Won't be winning any beauty prizes anytime soon," Jim murmured, shaking open the Daily Mail. "they had it hushed up."

In the newspaper there was no mention anywhere of Masters's death, even in the obituaries. Jim did not doubt that Seb had done exactly what he was told and cleaned up the crime scene very thoroughly. There would not be a trace of blood or gore apparent for any kind of inspection.

At any rate, Jim merely skimmed the headlines, noting that Sherlock had returned somehow. The criminal mastermind was not very surprised at all. Irritated already, he thrust the paper down on the bedside shelf and sat back, putting hands up to his temples.

"He still thinks that I'm dead.." Sherlock was a crafty and cunning opponent. Jim would have to put together more elaborate games in the future if he ever felt like revealing himself. But there was one more ace in the hole he'd met just before he left for the east.

Eurus Holmes. She was twisted and sick in the head, even to his standards. She was dark and Jim liked it. He could never love her and wasn't even attracted to her but he gave her advice on how to handle the Sherlock and John duo. Eurus had learned quickly, Jim had sent her some prerecorded bits of himself to torment the good guys with.

That was all he ever heard of her. Jim had been alotted only five minutes alone with Eurus in which he told her all he knew of the crime solving duo. He'd been obligated to leave far sooner than he would have liked but he was confident she knew all she needed to know.

With any luck, Eurus had put Sherlock and John through hell, and her brother Mycroft too. At least Jim hoped so.

There had been a bit of attraction between the criminal and Eurus, but even though Jim liked her dark side, he knew the darkness of her soul would consume her. Darkness obscured the light and soon she would have been incapable of smiling genuinely. With no hint of lightness in her soul, he had been revolted by it very quickly.

That was why he loved Ruby so much. She could be dark on occasion but it was the lightness in her eyes which enchanted him and kept him in love with her.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: Recovery

After a mediocre lunch at the cafe downstairs, Jim ambled back up to Ruby's room. He saw that she hadn't moved an inch which meant he hadn't missed anything. Sitting down, he picked up his cell phone and checked for messages.

Watching TV for an hour quickly got boring, so he snapped it off, turning to Ruby's side. He picked up her left hand which still bore her wedding ring. She'd turned the diamond side away from view so her captors would not take it from her. Ruby was vain about her hands, proud of how long they were. Now they were still long, but her nails were all cracked and chipped.

That could be mended in time. Jim put his hand to the side of her face, rubbing his thumb over her lips wistfully. He wanted to kiss her but he did not want to hurt her. After a moment of indecision, he leaned over and firmly planted his lips on hers.

Hopefully like Sleeping Beauty Ruby would wake up at least a little bit.

Jim was mildly surprised when Ruby did rouse enough to meet his kiss, though he could sense a new feeling in the kiss as well. It was desperation, like she wanted to hold him there and not ever let him go. He could tell that she half thought she was back in the warehouse being held.

The only way to erase her desperation was to add a little more feeling into it just to let her know that he was there and real. Jim deepened the kiss between them, both hands on her shoulders then on the sides of her face.

In a flash the desperation disappeared and he could feel Ruby relaxing. He opened up his brown eyes to find a pair of green ones half open and watching him.

"Hello, beautiful," Jim smiled, taking her hand. "how do you feel?"

"I'm in heaven." she rasped, her throat sounding like someone had rubbed sandpaper all over it. Jim refrained from rolling his eyes, wondering if she had succumbed to delusions while in the warehouse.

He was about to sigh when Ruby gave off what might have been a giggle. "Let me elaborate," she coughed and Jim gave her a little drink. "it's heaven whenever you're with me."

"Still silver tongued aren't you?" he smiled. "My choice of heaven would be a garden park with an arbor, not in the hospital."

"Take what I can get." Ruby blinked slowly.

"Still sleepy?"

"Yeah," she admitted. "don't go away, Jim. Thank Seb for me, will you?"

"Of course." Jim got onto the bed with her and she snuggled up to him as comfortably as she could. He put an arm around her shoulders, pulling out his phone and texting Seb.

"How did you find me?"

"Masters," Jim replied. "he was your first job, remember?"

"Mr. Cybersecurity?"

"That's the one."

"He wanted revenge for me taking the money he owed you, didn't he?"

"You would think a businessman wouldn't try to cheat his fellows out of their proper paychecks," Jim mused. "it's good business to pay on time."

"Some just want to pocket the cash themselves. Greedy pigs."

"Anyway, it's over now."

"Did you get him?"

"Seb did." Jim made it clear that he would tell her exactly what had happened later on when they were in their own house. Ruby knew this though she was too weak and tired to signify that she understood.

"So how long have you been back?"

"About three days all told. I wasn't going to sit back while you were missing." she could hear his smile.

"Then you didn't hear much about me, health wise."

Jim giggled. "Anything else that isn't related to your wounds now is irrelevant, darling. Later. I want you well."

"Deal."

The next week Ruby was up and about, walking around and doing respiratory exercises to strengthen her lungs again. The IV fluids worked fine and by the third day she wanted real food. The hospital had an order menu but none of it looked very appetizing to her. Jim had taken to bringing her suppers, some of it very iron rich so she could build up her blood.

In the second week the doctors were very much encouraged by her progress and discharged her to home with Jim to look after her. Jim took her down to the main entrance, watching her warily.

But Ruby was sure footed as she ever was. Carefully she got into the car with Jim and Seb took them home.

Once she was brought home, Jim installed her on the couch with the TV remote in one hand while he made supper for them both. Ruby had to smile as Jim was treating her like a delicate invalid, something she would tolerate for the next week or so. They watched TV while they had supper, exchanged small talk, then he guided her up to bed.

In a fresh nightgown, Jim was helping her pull it down over her belly when he saw the surgical scar from the C section. He did not flinch from it or draw attention to it at all so Ruby didn't know what he had seen. Jim felt it was not the right time to talk about that subject, particularly when Ruby was feeling fragile.

"Ah, a comfortable bed," settling in, she exhaled in total relaxation as she drew up the covers. "I've missed this bed a lot."

"I can tell!" Jim chuckled, sliding in next to her. "I missed it too."

Yawning, Ruby bade her husband good night and went to sleep quickly. Jim wasn't surprised; she would be feeling overtaxed and strained for at least the next week or so as she began to rebuild her stamina.

Jim picked up a book and read it for about half an hour to make sure that Ruby was certainly asleep, then he marked his place and turned towards his sleeping wife. He then took his right hand and slid it under the blankets, eventually going in under her nightshirt. The criminal felt the smooth scar from her C section, gently rubbing it back and forth for a moment.

He could hardly believe it; they once had a child inside her. Children were one of the very few things that he worried about in his life. He always figured he'd just go with it should it ever happen.

But now knowing what he did, Jim's mind had been hijacked by the only existing memento of the child-the ultrasound picture. Even though he'd been busy since he got back, several times his mind had lapsed and the picture had come to the forefront. The child symbolized their love for each other true, but a lot of other things symbolized their love as well like their marriage.

The scar Ruby bore now would always be a reminder of the baby. It would come up in conversation at some point and he didn't know what he would say when it did.

Still, he felt more like a man now that he'd gotten her pregnant no matter what the outcome was. Jim had made her his and she'd made him hers through the sex they had. They were a true bonded pair now, hearts beating as one, and all the romantic clichés he could think of.

Jim turned to his side, still keeping his hand on his wife's scar as if he could heal it himself, then fell asleep next to her.

As soon as daylight's first rays had danced across the landscape, they entered into the window and began to concentrate their warmth right on to Ruby's face. She grunted, waking up, then blinked in the dazzling brightness.

It was mid December now and the snowflakes had started to fall. Ruby admired the white fluffy drops cascading past the window and down to the street, then she became aware of Jim's hand on her. Flipping back the covers, she discovered his hand was on her Cesarean scar.

She turned supine on the bed, holding Jim's hand in place. "I wanted you to be there, Jim. For everything." she bit her lip, remembering the day she had discovered the child would not be able to live. "I wanted to cry on your shoulder the day I saw that the baby had no brain."

It seemed like she could see the past, when her big swollen belly loomed up in front of her like her own planet. The child had been quite active almost all the time so she got no peace and could barely sleep at night.

"You'd have been a great dad," Ruby spoke in a hushed voice. "I always knew that you'd have it in you."

She had to stifle a snort. He had plenty in him and she had plenty in her! Perhaps they should market Jim's sperm and sell it.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: Time Heals?

A/N: There will be rape mentioned.

Christmas came and went, Ruby's mobility and her surgical wounds were healing very nicely. Jim would check her wounds every day, redress them, and generally let her do what she wanted. He was around every day for a week, then would go to the office every few days, then he resumed his regular hours of nine to four.

Ruby became possessed of the Christmas spirit, taking out all the décor and putting it up, setting up the Christmas tree and buying presents. Every day Christmas week Jim would come home smelling many tantalizing scents in the air. Several wrapped presents stacked up under the tree started to accumulate.

On Christmas day, Ruby pulled out a special package that had been delivered the day before. Surprised, she sat down on the couch next to Jim, pulled off the packing tape and string, opening up the box.

Jim's face held a smirk as if he knew exactly what it was but Ruby didn't pay any attention to him. Inside the box was several pictures of babies, all with big smiles on their faces. With it was a card that had several signatures.

"Through your child these babies can live," she read aloud. "Michael got new lungs, Kara got new kidneys, Sammy got a new liver, and Clara got a new bladder. A premature baby named Angel got the heart. We can't thank you enough and we present you with this gift to remember your baby by."

Ruby pulled out a locket necklace made out of pewter that had a heart shaped pendant with a little footprint in it. Jim put it on her, fastening the clasp down securely.

"You don't have any idea what I'm on about," she turned to Jim sheepishly.

"Yes I do," he admitted, putting his coffee mug on the coffee table. "just before I had to leave I saw you once in the house, your hand on your pelvis. What could any man think that means? Especially since we'd married about a month ago at that point? I knew I had shot a kid into you."

Ruby remained expressionless as Cassidy jumped into her lap. "Do you know what happened after that?"

"The day I got home this cat here led me right to your diary," he scratched the feline's ears. "I got the feeling she wanted me to know something."

"She's not the only one," Ruby chuckled as the purring started. "so I take it you know all then?"

"I do. I have to say that it felt like I was right there with you as you wrote it all out. I only wanted to be there with you."

"Oh, Jim. Nobody could have predicted what was going to happen," Ruby shrugged it off. "I don't blame anyone. Things happen."

"There's only one question I have to ask you."

"Shoot."

"Was it a boy or girl?"

Ruby frowned, trying to remember if they'd told her or not. She didn't even want to know when she was getting her prenatal exam. "They never said."

"Even right after they pulled it out of you?"

"I'd been sedated, Jim! I can't remember anything."

"Right." Jim controlled himself. "I was thinking about children earlier."

"When you had your hand on my scar?"

"Yes. I don't think that it's a good idea, me being a wanted criminal."

"True enough. I was thinking I'm not cut out to be a mom."

"Don't sell yourself short. Kids are little monsters anyway and I don't want any."

Ruby didn't know how to take that remark. She'd be a great mom but all kids were little demon spawn? Deciding to let that one go, she cleared off the gift wrap debris and went to tidy up.

In the bathroom, she was brushing her teeth when a mental image flashed into her mind, making her pause.

Two men were in her cell, one was straddling her and the other was telling him that the boss had said be brutal to her. One guy held down her arms and wrists as the other unzipped his pants and pulled her jeans down. Ruby gaped with horror as the guy played with her chest, getting him hard, then he played with her clitoris. Despite herself, she was enjoying the stimulating as she soon grew slick which was undoubtedly what her tormentors wanted. She was called a good little bitch, then the guy straightened up, slamming his penis inside her, making her yelp in pain.

Dropping her toothbrush in the sink, Ruby gaped in horror at her own reflection for a full minute. She hurriedly spat, rinsed her brush, then put it away. Shaking like a leaf, Ruby sat down on the floor near her bed, letting the image replay in her mind.

"Ruby?" Jim came trampling upstairs with the cat at his heels. "What is it?"

"Jim.." she raised up a teary face to him. "I...I was.."

"What is it, honey?" he sat down beside her. Ruby bit her lip and turned her green eyes towards Jim. He was startled to see they were haunted and strained looking.

"At the warehouse… those men… oh god, they.." she was nearing hysteria, concerning Jim greatly. "they raped me, Jim."

"What?!" he demanded, his voice like a thunderclap. Cassidy the cat jumped and ran away. "They sexually assaulted you?!"

"Don't make me say it again." Jim wordlessly opened up his arms with Ruby diving into them. She sniffled and cried, clutching at her husband like he was her lifeline. Jim clutched at her back, wanting to end her pain or at least console her.

Several minutes later Ruby pulled away from him, looking worse for wear but she had her composure back. "All right you, we have some time before lunch, so I want you to take a nap."

"What?"

"You're in shock, girl. You're shaking."

"I am? A nap sounds good before I faint from shock." Jim put her onto the bed, got her a few painkillers for the headache he knew she had. Ruby wiped her face with a damp washcloth and laid back on the bed.

"I'll get you up in time for lunch. Remember, Seb and his girlfriend are coming."

"All right, Jim."

"Rest well now." he kissed her and she returned it.

"I will, hot stuff."

Towards the end of the day, Jim and Ruby were cleaning up the kitchen, putting the pots and pans away when Ruby tentatively asked if he was mad at her.

"For what you've been through? Despite the fact that none of this is your fault?" he leaned against the island countertop as she shut the dishwasher and set it to work. "Is this what you think of me?"

"No, but I'm so mad at myself," she admitted. "I-"

"You shouldn't be," Jim took her around the waist, pressing her to him. "these were circumstances beyond your control, set in motion by a guy who had a grudge."

Ruby put her hands on his shoulders. "I know that in my rational side, Jim. Emotions tend to overshadow rationality."

"You've been kidnapped since when? Last week of November?"

"Yeah."

"How many times did they rape you?"

She sighed heavily. "They took turns, Jim. Like I was some public rabbit hole and they rarely went more than a day without getting their sexual fix from me."

"Sick fucks."

"Really."

"I was thinking how about we get Dr. Blair over here tomorrow to make sure you don't have any diseases? Let's be safe."

"OK."

"In the meantime, I would consummate Christmas with some spirited sex from you but I don't think that's wise." he rubbed her sides which made her feel a bit aroused. Ruby grinned.

"I could do with some foreplay. My boobs need attention."

"Something wrong with them?" Jim glanced at them.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: Preparations for Departure

"Not wrong per se, but after I gave birth there was a lactation issue. Apparently my ducts didn't grow properly and there's no way I can nurse. I could get surgery to reroute the problem but I don't really want to do that. I've been in enough pain already."

"I agree." Jim unbuttoned her shirt, knowing there was no bra underneath her clothes. "They look fine to me."

"Don't they?" she giggled. "I like my boobs despite the fact that I can't nurse. They get engorged certainly, but there's no passage to the outside, so to speak."

Jim didn't waste any more time in talking as he began to feel up Ruby's ample chest, checking to make sure that he didn't touch any scars.

Later on that night, they both sat in front of the TV, curled up together in the afghan that Ruby had inherited from her grandmother ten years ago.

"Oh, before I forget," Jim reached over to the end table and gave Ruby an envelope. "Merry Christmas."

Ruby opened it up and found two tickets for St. Croix in the Philippines. Jim had reserved a suite that stood right out on the water so they had plenty of privacy. There was a sun porch in the front with two luxurious looking chaise lounges, a very modern kitchen, and a master bedroom that had a full glass front with pale blue sheer curtains. There was a state of the art bathroom and big living room which Ruby could not wait to see.

"Oh Jim, I love it!" she squealed, bestowing a real smile full of radiant light that Jim basked in. Not for nothing she was the light of his life.

"We go in two days, my love. Enough time to get you checked before we go on a week long love-a-thon."

"You smooth talker," she blushed. "Jim, I think we ought to consider the other outcome that is not STD related from the rapes."

He knew exactly what she was on about but didn't want to hear it. "I think we can discuss that when we get back, eh?"

Ruby nodded, putting the documents on the end table. "Time to hit the sack, darlin'?"

"If you say so." both of them were quite keen to avoid the unwanted pregnancy topic so as soon as they got into bed Ruby pounced on Jim.

"I didn't really get you anything, Jim."

"That's OK. I know you've been through a lot lately." he stroked her hair which was in a single braid. Ruby had let her hair grow out since he'd been gone and Jim quite liked it long. The criminal was eyeing her new nightgown, a loose cotton fabric that was green printed with flowers, also quite see through.

"No, I want you to get something," Ruby pulled out a drawer on the nightstand and produced a box. Grinning happily, she put on a motorcycle rider's pageboy hat in leather, picking up a pair of glow-in-the-dark dice and fuzzy handcuffs.

"Just hang on for dear life," Ruby yanked off the nightgown, revealing her bare bosom and a black G-string. She loomed down at him in the low moonlight and grinned. "which lipstick do you want smeared all over you?" there was dark pink and cool red. James chose the red as she put it on, locked his wrists together, linking them around the headboard so he couldn't move his arms.

"We're not going all the way tonight, Jim, so I'm doing everything to show my gratitude." Ruby kissed him, leaving lipstick on his cheek and lips. "Enjoy the ride."

"Babe, I already am." babe was Jim's nickname for her when he was horny and ready to go. Ruby was glad to hear it and got down to business.

The next morning the debris of last night was flung on the floor carelessly, the dice and handcuffs were under the bed and Ruby's hat had been tossed onto the dresser.

Jim had been awake for half an hour already so he brought Ruby coffee in bed. She woke up as soon as she smelled the delightful aroma of dark roast reached her nose.

"Hey," he greeted his sleepy wife. "sleep OK?"

"Yeah." she sat up and accepted the mug. "Did you like what I did for you last night?"

"Very much!" Jim laughed, sitting on the bed edge. "Dr. Blair will be here in a few minutes to give you a pelvic exam. Will you be OK with it?"

"I think I will be, but I'm still going to want some moral support." Jim took her hand.

"Don't worry about that. I'm here."

Right on time the doctor arrived with the necessary supplies. Ruby was prepared as she'd undergone pelvic exams before. She sat on top of the bed, removing her undergarments from the previous night, draping her robe over her pelvic region. Jim was nearby, sitting on the bed if she needed him.

As soon as Dr. Blair began to assemble what he needed, Ruby experienced a flashback as one of those thugs had taken advantage of her. She had tried to resist but there was nothing she could use as a weapon and her skills only took her so far. Shutting her eyes, she had to remind herself that this was a competent doctor who'd taken care of her before.

Jim's hand came down and pressed hers gently. He was already recognizing the signs that she might have a panic attack. She clutched at his hand, using it to ground her thoughts and not let them get away from her. Concentrating on the mental images of the night before, she relaxed enough for the doctor to do what he needed to do.

Within a few minutes the exam was over. Dr. Blair had put all of his things away, labeled the sample he got from her, then asked her if her period was regular.

"Very. I should be getting mine within a week or two." she answered, sitting up on the bed with Jim beside her.

"I'll walk you out, doc," Jim ushered the doctor downstairs before he said another word as Ruby began to put her clothes on. They stopped at the front door where Jim turned to Dr. Blair. "how likely is it that she got pregnant from the rape?"

"Well, she's of a good age, she takes care of herself, yet I am aware of her past gynecological history. What I want you to do, Jim, is to get her to start taking iron supplements. She's got low grade anemia anyway so this will give her a boost." he handed Jim a bottle of green ferrous sulfate, 325 milligrams.

"All right. Just so I know, what caused the baby to grow without a brain? Can we stop it?"

"It's a very rare chance it will develop again," Dr. Blair reassured him. "She needs iron so we will get her on that to increase chances of a healthy baby. I want you to start thinking of what you two will do if she does test positive, all right? Make sure that you both consider all possibilities and risks. Be on the same page."

"We will." Jim promised, not liking the potential possibility Ruby could be pregnant with another man's child. Dr. Blair shook his hand, wished him well, then disappeared through the door.

It was too soon to test now for pregnancy; Ruby had been freed for barely a month now and even Jim knew that it took a month or two just for a fertilized egg to implant itself. He decided to put it out of his mind for now and get ready to pack his things. Seb would take care of Cassidy the cat until they got back in a week.

Today they planned to take it easy. Dr. Blair had promised to run the STD panel first thing so that they could have the results early tomorrow morning.

Ruby and Jim took a shower together and began to watch movies all day. Cassidy joined them on the bed, sitting between them like she was their chaperone.

Late that night Ruby was preparing herself to go to bed, brushing her teeth in the mirror. She finished up, then looked at the full length mirror on the back of the bathroom door. Pausing, Ruby pressed down the length of her nightgown against her belly but of course that didn't show anything obvious.

"Horrible men going around, putting babies into the uteruses of unwilling females." she muttered. Time will tell but Ruby was rather anxious to know what was going on inside her but she needed time.

"Coming to bed?" Jim called. Ruby opened up the door and joined her husband. The couple cuddled together as Jim set the alarm. Together with Cassidy, the couple snuggled up in the bed, Jim draping his hand over her Cesarean scar like he could make it disappear.

Ruby pressed her hand to his. "You wish you could erase it?"

"Mm hmm," Jim muttered sleepily. "I know it doesn't bring you good memories."

"It's a battle scar, Jim. It reminds me of a battle fought and I don't want it gone."

"You don't?"

"Nope. I like my scars. Each one has a story."

"That's a good way of looking at it. Excited for tomorrow?"

"Of course."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 11: Preparations for Departure

"Not wrong per se, but after I gave birth there was a lactation issue. Apparently my ducts didn't grow properly and there's no way I can nurse. I could get surgery to reroute the problem but I don't really want to do that. I've been in enough pain already."

"I agree." Jim unbuttoned her shirt, knowing there was no bra underneath her clothes. "They look fine to me."

"Don't they?" she giggled. "I like my boobs despite the fact that I can't nurse. They get engorged certainly, but there's no passage to the outside, so to speak."

Jim didn't waste any more time in talking as he began to feel up Ruby's ample chest, checking to make sure that he didn't touch any scars.

Later on that night, they both sat in front of the TV, curled up together in the afghan that Ruby had inherited from her grandmother ten years ago.

"Oh, before I forget," Jim reached over to the end table and gave Ruby an envelope. "Merry Christmas."

Ruby opened it up and found two tickets for St. Croix in the Philippines. Jim had reserved a suite that stood right out on the water so they had plenty of privacy. There was a sun porch in the front with two luxurious looking chaise lounges, a very modern kitchen, and a master bedroom that had a full glass front with pale blue sheer curtains. There was a state of the art bathroom and big living room which Ruby could not wait to see.

"Oh Jim, I love it!" she squealed, bestowing a real smile full of radiant light that Jim basked in. Not for nothing she was the light of his life.

"We go in two days, my love. Enough time to get you checked before we go on a week long love-a-thon."

"You smooth talker," she blushed. "Jim, I think we ought to consider the other outcome that is not STD related from the rapes."

He knew exactly what she was on about but didn't want to hear it. "I think we can discuss that when we get back, eh?"

Ruby nodded, putting the documents on the end table. "Time to hit the sack, darlin'?"

"If you say so." both of them were quite keen to avoid the unwanted pregnancy topic so as soon as they got into bed Ruby pounced on Jim.

"I didn't really get you anything, Jim."

"That's OK. I know you've been through a lot lately." he stroked her hair which was in a single braid. Ruby had let her hair grow out since he'd been gone and Jim quite liked it long. The criminal was eyeing her new nightgown, a loose cotton fabric that was green printed with flowers, also quite see through.

"No, I want you to get something," Ruby pulled out a drawer on the nightstand and produced a box. Grinning happily, she put on a motorcycle rider's pageboy hat in leather, picking up a pair of glow-in-the-dark dice and fuzzy handcuffs.

"Just hang on for dear life," Ruby yanked off the nightgown, revealing her bare bosom and a black G-string. She loomed down at him in the low moonlight and grinned. "which lipstick do you want smeared all over you?" there was dark pink and cool red. James chose the red as she put it on, locked his wrists together, linking them around the headboard so he couldn't move his arms.

"We're not going all the way tonight, Jim, so I'm doing everything to show my gratitude." Ruby kissed him, leaving lipstick on his cheek and lips. "Enjoy the ride."

"Babe, I already am." babe was Jim's nickname for her when he was horny and ready to go. Ruby was glad to hear it and got down to business.

The next morning the debris of last night was flung on the floor carelessly, the dice and handcuffs were under the bed and Ruby's hat had been tossed onto the dresser.

Jim had been awake for half an hour already so he brought Ruby coffee in bed. She woke up as soon as she smelled the delightful aroma of dark roast reached her nose.

"Hey," he greeted his sleepy wife. "sleep OK?"

"Yeah." she sat up and accepted the mug. "Did you like what I did for you last night?"

"Very much!" Jim laughed, sitting on the bed edge. "Dr. Blair will be here in a few minutes to give you a pelvic exam. Will you be OK with it?"

"I think I will be, but I'm still going to want some moral support." Jim took her hand.

"Don't worry about that. I'm here."

Right on time the doctor arrived with the necessary supplies. Ruby was prepared as she'd undergone pelvic exams before. She sat on top of the bed, removing her undergarments from the previous night, draping her robe over her pelvic region. Jim was nearby, sitting on the bed if she needed him.

As soon as Dr. Blair began to assemble what he needed, Ruby experienced a flashback as one of those thugs had taken advantage of her. She had tried to resist but there was nothing she could use as a weapon and her skills only took her so far. Shutting her eyes, she had to remind herself that this was a competent doctor who'd taken care of her before.

Jim's hand came down and pressed hers gently. He was already recognizing the signs that she might have a panic attack. She clutched at his hand, using it to ground her thoughts and not let them get away from her. Concentrating on the mental images of the night before, she relaxed enough for the doctor to do what he needed to do.

Within a few minutes the exam was over. Dr. Blair had put all of his things away, labeled the sample he got from her, then asked her if her period was regular.

"Very. I should be getting mine within a week or two." she answered, sitting up on the bed with Jim beside her.

"I'll walk you out, doc," Jim ushered the doctor downstairs before he said another word as Ruby began to put her clothes on. They stopped at the front door where Jim turned to Dr. Blair. "how likely is it that she got pregnant from the rape?"

"Well, she's of a good age, she takes care of herself, yet I am aware of her past gynecological history. What I want you to do, Jim, is to get her to start taking iron supplements. She's got low grade anemia anyway so this will give her a boost." he handed Jim a bottle of green ferrous sulfate, 325 milligrams.

"All right. Just so I know, what caused the baby to grow without a brain? Can we stop it?"

"It's a very rare chance it will develop again," Dr. Blair reassured him. "She needs iron so we will get her on that to increase chances of a healthy baby. I want you to start thinking of what you two will do if she does test positive, all right? Make sure that you both consider all possibilities and risks. Be on the same page."

"We will." Jim promised, not liking the potential possibility Ruby could be pregnant with another man's child. Dr. Blair shook his hand, wished him well, then disappeared through the door.

It was too soon to test now for pregnancy; Ruby had been freed for barely a month now and even Jim knew that it took a month or two just for a fertilized egg to implant itself. He decided to put it out of his mind for now and get ready to pack his things. Seb would take care of Cassidy the cat until they got back in a week.

Today they planned to take it easy. Dr. Blair had promised to run the STD panel first thing so that they could have the results early tomorrow morning.

Ruby and Jim took a shower together and began to watch movies all day. Cassidy joined them on the bed, sitting between them like she was their chaperone.

Late that night Ruby was preparing herself to go to bed, brushing her teeth in the mirror. She finished up, then looked at the full length mirror on the back of the bathroom door. Pausing, Ruby pressed down the length of her nightgown against her belly but of course that didn't show anything obvious.

"Horrible men going around, putting babies into the uteruses of unwilling females." she muttered. Time will tell but Ruby was rather anxious to know what was going on inside her but she needed time.

"Coming to bed?" Jim called. Ruby opened up the door and joined her husband. The couple cuddled together as Jim set the alarm. Together with Cassidy, the couple snuggled up in the bed, Jim draping his hand over her Cesarean scar like he could make it disappear.

Ruby pressed her hand to his. "You wish you could erase it?"

"Mm hmm," Jim muttered sleepily. "I know it doesn't bring you good memories."

"It's a battle scar, Jim. It reminds me of a battle fought and I don't want it gone."

"You don't?"

"Nope. I like my scars. Each one has a story."

"That's a good way of looking at it. Excited for tomorrow?"

"Of course."


	13. Chapter 13

PART 2

Chapter 13: Surprise.

In mid March Ruby came home from a long day at the clinic. For some reason today had to be the day everyone had to come in with boring old common colds. She dispensed many prescriptions for antihistamines and nearly wore out her prescription pads.

Flipping through her day timer, Ruby had listed that day as the time to take a test. Sighing unhappily, she pulled out the inconspicuous blue box, opened it, pierced the cellophane wrapper and took the test.

Ten minutes later Ruby glanced at the readout which had a plus on it. She didn't have any doubt that she really was pregnant since the raping. She wanted to scream, to rage at God, ask why it had happened to her, but it didn't matter. Ruby had sworn to Jim to make the best of her situation and she was going to do it no matter what.

If they could ignore the fact that it was the child of rape, they might actually have a pleasant time with it. Instinctively Ruby knew she did not want to abort it, but she didn't want to keep it either. Jim had said it wasn't a good idea because he was a criminal and she agreed with him. Ruby had made the conscious choice to become his wife, but a child had no say in the life it was born into.

When Jim came home from work, he had a surprise waiting for him. Ruby didn't want him to find out just by the test so she threw that away. Jim didn't look like he was in a bad mood so she chose to tell him over supper.

"Jim, I have some news for you." she sat down at the table with her loaded plate as he pulled out a plate from the cabinet.

"Good or bad?" he grinned as he got himself a serving of Ruby's famous meatloaf he adored.

"Depends on your reaction." she put her hands on her glass, tapping her nails against it nervously.

"What?" Jim saw her eyes darting everywhere before focusing on him. He'd never seen her so nervous before, not even when they were married.

"There's no easy way to say it, Jim. I'm pregnant."

"What?!"

"I'm having a baby, Jim." Jim's face darkened into a thundercloud.

"You.. I-" he stammered, not knowing what to say as Ruby's eyes teared up a little bit. Jim's eyes widened up themselves with shock as his wife toyed with a fork in her fingers.

"I know. I'm getting an ultrasound later today to decide what my options are. I'd like you to come but you don't have to."

"Where are you getting it? It's after five."

"I contacted Dr. Blair and asked him. We have half an hour before we need to be there." Jim hated the way Ruby was looking at him-like he was a bomb ready to go off. He did have an explosive temper but it depended on what he was mad at.

"Right. I'll be there." he resumed eating then exploded. "I can't believe they did this to you!"

"It doesn't matter now, Jim." Ruby sounded defeated which he'd never heard before and instantly hated it.

"Damn right. Seb shot those two assholes and now one of them put his baby in you! My god.."

"Jim, I've already been through this mentally. You remind me that I can't help it." she said pointedly. "Now eat up and we need to be there soon."

"I know, love." Jim only called her love when he was feeling very concerned about her. Ruby was touched and imagined his response would have been a lot different if it had been Jim who had put his baby inside her.

Jim put his hand on the table and when Ruby did likewise, he pressed her hand gently, letting her know he was with her. She glanced at him and gave him a watery smile, reminding him that she needed moral support too.

At the medical wing in Jim's office building, Dr. Blair had Ruby expose her pelvis, he put some gel on that region, then pressed down with an ultrasound transducer. Jim sat down next to Ruby in a chair, his hand still in hers. The image came up in a few minutes, a monochromatic picture of a very small fetus. Entranced, Ruby and Jim both watched as the image onscreen as the fetus stretched and moved around a little bit.

"Looks like you've got one all right," Dr. Blair told them. "about 12 weeks if I'm not mistaken. Look, there's the perfectly formed head. I don't think you'll have any problems."

"Good." Ruby gazed at Jim for a moment but he was still staring at the picture. His face was emotionless but she could try to guess at what he was thinking.

Dr. Blair took several measurements of the fetus, happy to determine that it was growing normally. It seemed to be a very active one, jumping around, kicking, pushing. Ruby put her hand to her pelvis even though she knew she would not be able to feel anything up until the halfway mark, about 22 weeks.

"All in all it looks very good. I'll need you to come in tomorrow and sit for some prenatal screenings." he gave her a picture of the fetus as a souvenir.

Ruby mopped off all the gel from her pelvis, pulled her pants back up, thanked the doctor, then left with Jim in tow.

When they got home, Ruby put the picture up on the refrigerator as Jim went to the couch and sat down, not wanting to look at Ruby at the moment.

"Jim hon, want to talk?" she tentatively offered, sitting next to him.

Did he? She was probably feeling the same things that he was after all. Jim knew she did not want the baby the same as he did. He gave her belly a stare, though it hadn't altered.

"What is there to talk about?" he tossed back a scotch from his autobar. "The thug from the warehouse got you pregnant."

"Yeah, no kidding," Ruby looked down at her stomach. "I had no say over what those assholes did to me."

"What do you think of abortion?" Jim put his glass down, eyeing Ruby with a slightly buzzed look. She took his glass and put it in the dishwasher with the rest of the load and set it to work, stalking back to him.

"I don't think that's a viable solution, Jim. Just because we don't want it doesn't mean some infertile couple might not want it either."

"You want to do adoption?"

"Jim, I lost one baby due to nature pretty much, and I refuse to abort a perfectly functioning baby because we don't want it. Someone else will."

"Life recycling?"

"I wouldn't put it like that, but it is in a kind of way, yes," Ruby admitted. "the baby's partially mine, obviously, but I can't ask you to be a father to a child that's not biologically yours if you are ambiguous about it."

"Thanks for that." Jim said shortly. "Consideration."

Ruby noticed how sharply he said that word and began to get angry. "Are you implying that I'm inconsiderate for being pregnant with a baby that's not yours?"

"No!" Jim shouted, standing up and slamming his hand down on the desk, causing Ruby to back up and her face to pale up a bit. "I don't know!" his phone rang. "What?!" he barked into it. "I have to go out." Jim hung up and stood up as Ruby stood to one side boldly, not afraid of her husband's temper.

"Don't come back until you can be civil towards me!" Ruby retorted, going upstairs.

Jim grabbed his hat and coat, unwilling to let the late March winds rustle his hair and mess it up. Seb had a few issues at the office building and needed Jim's security code clearance to rectify it. Even though he could have telecommuted to fix the problem, Jim was glad of a chance to leave the house.

"Boss, you seem pissed," Seb noticed. "everything OK?"

The criminal had known Seb for years so it was easy to open up to him. "Remember one of those thugs you killed when we found Ruby in the warehouse?"

"Yep."

"They raped Ruby a lot during her two weeks she was missing." Jim squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to picture the scene.

"She get pregnant?" Seb asked mildly.

"Yeah. I'm not happy that it's not mine!" he fumed.

"Are you mad at her for getting raped in the first place?"

"Surely not!"

"Then are you mad because some other man's baby appears to be growing well in place of your baby which you both lost?"


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14: Anger Management

Jim's eyes bugged out a bit and his jaw dropped open. "Maybe."

Seb stood up from the desk, watching his employer. "I don't think there's any maybe about it, boss."

"All right! I'm pissed as hell because my own baby-something we created out of pure love for each other was born without a brain and died! But this asshole rapes her and she conceives a little bastard that apparently has a brain and is normal!"

"I can't say anything that'll put the fire out in your head, boss," Seb wisely told him. "but I would encourage you to think on this for awhile."

"What do you mean?" Jim narrowed his eyes at his employee.

"I mean she doesn't want this as much as you and you shouldn't be taking your anger out on her."

"True."

"But also, I think you should regard this pregnancy as an opportunity."

"What do you mean now? Sell it once she pushes it out?"

"No. Regard it in a different light, boss. You weren't there for her first pregnancy with your child, but you can be there for her in the pregnancy with this one, no matter whose father it is."

Jim's eyes brightened a little bit with that idea. So many times when he was on the road he wanted to be with Ruby when she was about to give birth. Now he finally could be there for her and he was getting mad over a small thing. Seb always had a way of making Jim seeing things through a different light when he thought Jim was being unreasonable.

"You won't be missing much at the start though," Seb had an adult son. "just a lot of morning illness and feeling too tired to do much."

"Not appealing."

"To her either," Seb teased. "by the second trimester, things can get fun."

"Go on."

"She'll probably get crazy horny." Jim's dark eyes lit up. "She will be emotionally vulnerable, Jim and she will need your moral support throughout the process. You can guess how producing a life is very draining."

"True."

"So be supportive," Seb summed it right up. "she's always supported you. Don't let the paternity get in the way."

"I think I'll make it my mantra."

"If that's what it takes. Now go home to her."

"Thanks, Seb."

"You're welcome." the assassin gave his employer a benevolent smile.

In the meantime, Ruby had flung herself on the bed, allowing herself to cry for a few moments before getting a hold of herself. She had never seen Jim so mad before but she knew he would be home soon. The criminal didn't like to be away from her during the nights if it could be helped.

"I don't want this child any more than he does!" her eyes rested on a coat hanger in the closet, but Ruby wasn't going to do that. If she had been desperate then she might have done it but it was legal until the 24th week.

At any rate, she wasn't going to abort a life that she was currently incubating. Just once she wanted to have a baby the vaginal way.

Cassidy jumped up onto the bed and gave her owner a small meow. Ruby wiped her face, picked up her cat, then held and snuggled her for a few moments. Cassidy licked her owner's face then meowed to get down. Ruby obliged her, watching her paw at the TV remote for a moment.

Just then the door slammed downstairs and Jim was calling her name. "Up here, Jim." he came upstairs, greeting Cassidy as she went down. The criminal stopped short of the bed where Ruby's voice was muffled by a pillow; she was facing away from him.

"If you're still mad I'll have you sleep on the couch."

"No, I'm not mad. Anymore." Ruby changed in front of him, grabbing her fleece robe he'd given her and stood in front of him.

"What changed your mind?" Jim took Ruby by the shoulders and gave her a deep kiss. She held his face in her hands as she deepened the kiss even more, feeling his hands drop down to her waist.

"Seb did."

"He's got an adult son if I remember right."

"He does. Seb told me I was directing my anger at you and the baby which is growing inside you," he pressed his hands to her belly. "it's not mine and that's what was pissing me off so bad."

"It doesn't need to matter, Jim. You can still be there for the long haul."

"That's what Seb told me. All I have to do is to change my mindset."

"Can you do it?" she pressed her hands to his.

"I think so. I can't let you down."

"Oh Jim, you would never let me down." Ruby kissed him again.

"I hope not. I want to apologize in advance in case I ever do."

"All you need to do is grovel."

"You would like that, right?"

"More than ever."

"I'm glad you admit it. So when do we get to feel the baby move?"

"I'm almost 13 weeks now so give it time, up to week 22."

"Nine weeks from now? What have we got to look forward to in the meantime?"

"Not much. The hormonal changes, nausea, illness, etc. You don't need to be around for all that. I'll be moaning and mopey."

"What about your job?"

"I'm still going to work to get my mind off this," their hands didn't leave her belly. "I want to keep doing it."

"Good for you. It's getting late now so do you want to turn in?"

"Good idea."

The two of them got ready for bed, welcoming Cassidy who leaped onto her favorite spot, at the foot of the bed near Ruby's feet. That night the cat wasn't content just to sleep on her favorite spot. Still retaining her kitten energy even though she was only 3, the cat raced up and down the bed, stopping as she put her front paws on Ruby's head.

Jim chuckled as Ruby giggled, picking up the cat and sitting up in the bed. She held the cat in her lap, stroking her as Jim sat up as well. The cat, happy to have both of her humans' attention, began to purr loudly.

"She purrs with her mouth open, you notice that?" Jim put a finger under Cassidy's chin to try to gently bump her mouth shut.

"Bragging rights?"

"I guess so! This cat is an odd one."

"Did you ever have any pets growing up?"

"I had a dog once." Cassidy only put up with a few minutes of caressing and petting then retired to her favorite spot.

"So much for a distraction." the couple settled back into the bed as Jim wrapped his right arm around his wife's back. She curled up with him, her left ear over his heart so she could hear it beat.

"I missed this."

"I did too." he dragged his fingers through her hair, watching the locks drape themselves over the back of his hand.

"I missed just hearing your heart beat, Jim. The obvious indication that someone's here with me." he gave her arm a rub as he closed his eyes. Further rumination on what she just said made Jim think of the euphemism of two hearts beating as one. It was poetic, romantic, and yet a fact in many respects. Jim was about ready to tell Ruby about that when he heard her breathing pattern change indicating that she was asleep.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15: Emergency

Three weeks later Ruby was at 15 weeks and still not showing any kind of outward sign she was pregnant. Wearing purple scrubs and her hair back in a simple braid, she was just disposing of a syringe in the wall box when a nurse came into the room. It was Roger, who'd told her about organ donation for babies.

"Very well, Mr. Estes, you may go." her patient left as Roger looked at Ruby, shutting the door behind him. He was as tall as Ruby, fair skinned and blonde haired with blue eyes. The both of them were chummy, chattering on breaks.

"What is it, Roger?"

"There's a call for you on line 2. Wouldn't give me a name. Is your phone on?"

"No. Not while I'm busy." she picked up the receiver and jabbed at the line 2 button. "Gray here."

"Ruby, Seb."

"What's going on?"

"Jim collapsed. He's in the office building and Dr. Blair wants you immediately."

"Be right there." she hung up. "My husband's very ill and I need to go!" Roger would pass on the word to the administrator. He shouted a good luck after her as she jumped into the car Seb had waiting for her.

At the office building on the sixth floor, Dr. Blair greeted Ruby at the door and brought her into the emergency room. On the gurney lay Jim, looking extremely pale as the nurse took his coat off, rolled up his sleeve and intubated him with an IV line. Jim's eyes were closed and in the harsh light he had dark circles just under them. A blood pressure cuff was measuring his blood pressure, which was a little high.

"Stethoscope," Dr. Blair handed Ruby one and she listened to his heart for a brief moment. "Tachycardia."

"He's been in his office all morning," Dr. Blair told her. "he had a few meetings with clients but nothing else."

"What do you think?" Ruby hung the stethoscope around her neck, earpieces on one side, disk on the other.

"My first thought was poisoning but his bloodwork didn't indicate anything like that."

"Right. Let's strip him down and see if there's any blunt force trauma." they worked together to take Jim's clothes off. Once they were off and bundled into a bag with his initials, Ruby and Dr. Blair snapped on a pair of plastic gloves and began to examine him.

"There it is!" Ruby indicated the fifth rib on the left side which was discolored, faintly red under his skin. "He's had some sort of blunt force trauma, broke a rib, then that punctured his lung. He's developing a hemothorax which is why he fainted. He can't breathe properly and he's internally bleeding."

"Very good." Dr. Blair discarded his gloves and called for the scrub nurse. "Would you be up to helping me?"

"Sure." Ruby put on scrubs and went into the theater as Dr. Blair was scrubbing in. She tied on a surgical cap, going over to Jim who was already in the theater. The nurses began prepping him, having already washed up the surgical site.

Ruby helped the anesthetist wire Jim up to the monitors, calculated the proper Propofol dosage and as she was about to inject the sedative into his IV line, Jim stirred. His brown eyes locked onto hers, inwardly wondering who it was but then he saw his wife's gray eyes from behind the mask.

"Jim, did someone attack you? Give you a punch or kick to you lower chest?"

"N-no.. I can't remember what happened.." he winced from the pain and began breathing rapidly. The anesthetist steadied his head, putting a mask on his mouth and nose.

"You have some broken ribs and one punctured your lung. Dr. Blair and I need to stop the bleeding and drain the blood out of your lung. That's why you can't properly breathe." as for how Jim got his injuries that would have to wait until later.

"Ah..." he wasn't in any position to put up a fight. Ruby saw he'd been given the presedative injection, designed to relax him so Jim could not cohesively put two words together.

She connected the Propofol line to his IV tubing. "I'm going to put you to sleep now. We're going to connect you to a respirator to make sure you get adequate air while we're working on ya." Dr. Blair came in.

"Hey, Jim. Ready to take a nap?" Jim and Ruby watched intently as she began to inject the milky white liquid into her husband's veins. "You'll start feeling dizzy and lightheaded in about 30 seconds."

Jim's eyelids began to get heavy and he finally closed them. The anesthetist stood at Jim's head, opening up his mouth so he could insert a tube to connect him to the respirator. It was a difficult thing to manage, making sure he hit the windpipe and not the esophagus. Ruby taped down Jim's eyelids to make sure they stayed down, then stood next to Dr. Blair.

"Board certified surgeon going in!" Dr. Blair took a scalpel, then made a small incision over where Ruby had indicated earlier. The faint red of blood had become a little more prominent as he made a bold incision to widen up the operating site.

After blunt dissection down to the injury site, Ruby took several clamps and worked as Dr. Blair directed her. Once Jim's injury was all patched up, the team began to stitch the layers of muscle and skin closed. Dr. Blair was impressed by Ruby's technique.

"You're fast." she left a row of neat stitches.

"I practiced the stitch types hard when I went into dermatology." Ruby replied, pulling the lips of the wound together and cutting off her stitch.

"All right! You finish closing while I dictate the report." Ruby barely nodded as Dr. Blair went out of the room and discarded his soiled apparel. Jim had not stirred once during the entire surgery, meaning they had done a great job of giving him the proper amount of sedative.

A nice neat row of mattress sutures soon appeared. Ruby had to stitch about 8 of them in to close the wound completely. She taped a sterile dressing over the injury, told the anesthetist to extubate her husband, then discarded her mask and gloves. Briefly she put her hand on the side of Jim's face, giving him a little kiss as the tube was removed.

Dr. Blair in the dictation room pushed a ream of paperwork at her to sign off on. Being Jim's wife she was able to sign off on his medical care without a problem. Ruby signed off on all of the paperwork then as Dr. Blair finished his dictation, she turned to him.

"So how's mom doing today?" Ruby smiled and put her hand on her belly which obstinately refused to show any outward signs she was pregnant. "You'll be big enough before you know it and wishing for your body back!"

"I'm doing pretty well. It's going to be at least an hour before Jim wakes up so what should I do?"

"Let's get him installed in a room first. He's going to need to be here for a few days so you'll need to pin him down."

Ruby sighed. "I suppose." Jim on forced bedrest she didn't think was going to be pleasant for either one of them. When she got him home he was likely to be even worse.

She chose to sit by his side, keeping an eye on his vital signs as the Propofol worked its way through his system. The nurse had already put a mask on his mouth and nose which was connected to a canister behind the bed. The gas contained in it would help wake him up, dissolving the remnants of the sedative in his bloodstream.

"Well, here we are," the Dynamap vital sign monitor had been programmed to take his blood pressure every fifteen minutes. "we'll get ya home, Jim. It'll take a few days but we'll get there."

There was a TV suspended from the wall so Ruby turned it on, keeping the volume down low and the lights were turned down as well. She pulled out her phone, clicking through the news headlines. When there was nothing to spike her interests, she slid her hand on top of Jim's limp hand, pressing it down gently.

Ruby brought Jim another blanket from the blanket warmer, spreading it out evenly over her husband's limp form. She sat back down with her hand over his, kissing his cheek affectionately.

"I'll be here when you wake up, darling," she spoke in a low voice. "you scared me a little bit but I know you will be fine."

Ruby paused for a moment then continued. "I always thought of me and you raising a family in Aster Hall, two boys and a girl to take after us, but you know, just you and me with no children has its perks as well. There is no love that's purer than the love that I feel for you."


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16: Convalescing

Two hours had passed and Ruby was starting to feel tired herself. A nurse had brought her a recliner chair so she could stretch out and doze.

"I'm off for now," the nurse told her. "Dr. Blair will be here and I'm told you're a doctor as well?"

"I am."

"Wonderful! I'm going to grab some time off while I can. The pharmacy room and equipment rooms are right around the corner."

"Go on then, go grab some sleep." the nurse left as Ruby turned off the TV. She didn't think that she would sleep until Jim showed some sign of waking up. Her hand rested on Jim's, a link she did not want to break under any circumstances. The recliner was a bit too low to the floor so she grabbed several pillows and wedged them on the recliner so she was level with Jim.

Some time later Ruby was roused when there was a motion under her hand. Jim's fingers had ensnared hers, holding them fast. A shy grin illuminated her face as she looked over to see her husband's eyes were open.

"Hi, honey," Jim couldn't speak as the throat tube had irritated him and it was too painful. "I know, that throat tube just irritates things but it'll go away within a day or two. Do you want water or are you cold?"

He made a look of distaste which she took to mean no. "Do you want pain medicine? I can give you some morphine if you want."

Jim managed to nod. "I'll be right back then." Ruby measured out a 50 mL dose of morphine, using it conservatively. There was a faint hint of a smirk on Jim's face as he watched her connect the syringe to the IV and inject him with the medicine. Ruby saw his look and giggled.

"You're supposed to be recovering," she admonished him gently. "this will take effect in about a minute and you'll want to sleep the rest of the sedative off."

He pouted until Ruby leaned over him and gave him a long kiss, her necklace swinging and touching his nose. It was the necklace she'd been given for Christmas, the one with the little baby foot on a heart shaped pendant.

Ruby didn't say anything as Jim reached out and clasped his hand over her belly, indicating he was thinking about the baby. She put her hand over his, rubbing his fingers to warm them up.

"It's doing fine, hon. We won't know the sex until the halfway mark, or twentieth week. That's another month away."

Jim made an impatient look which Ruby agreed with. She pulled out his file and noted when he'd regained consciousness. On the medicine chart she noted the time and dose of the morphine she'd given him.

"I know, I'm acting like an actual doctor," she teased, getting into the recliner. "it's midnight, so I'm going to try to get some sleep now. You should do that too." Jim made a motion to put the bed rail down which she did, so he could take her hand without bashing it on the bars.

Soon enough they were both sound asleep, Jim managing to kiss his beloved wife on the cheek before he nodded off.

When he woke up, Jim found Ruby was right beside him as before, but Dr. Blair was there as well with a portable ultrasound machine beside Ruby.

"Awake again, eh?" Dr. Blair grinned at his boss. "Have a drink." he took a gulp of water as Ruby exposed her pelvis for her ultrasound.

"We were going to do this anyway so what the hell?" Jim smiled, noticing that Ruby was starting to show a very slight little bump under her clothes. Dr. Blair engaged the machine, scanning the uterus.

"Look at that," Ruby indicated a series of white little dots. "tiny little spinal cord with no trace of abnormalities."

"Yes, perfectly formed head, it looks like it's sucking it's thumb!" Dr. Blair began to take the measurements as usual.

"I could be mistaken but I think there's a bit of a bump on me now." Ruby noticed, running her hand over it slightly. "Was this what you wanted to show me last night?"

"Yes." Jim coughed out, making the fetus jump. "Did you feel that?"

"Not yet. When it starts moving I'll let you know."

"Aw.." Ruby's eyes lingered on Jim after he looked away. Dr. Blair printed out the picture of the fetus for Ruby to keep.

A few hours after lunch while Jim dozed off, Ruby lay back in the recliner and stared at her belly. She picked up her scrub shirt and pulled it back so she could see the little bump. It crossed her mind that Jim had made a complete turnaround from his anger filled self to someone who was more levelheaded and mature now.

Indeed, Jim had managed to allow himself to act a little giddy about the baby now and then. Despite the fact it wasn't his biologically, Jim didn't seem to let that affect him as much. Ruby knew that Jim was always going to be bothered by the fact that the baby inside her wasn't truly his, yet he deserved praise at how he handled it (with some kudos to Seb for his influence).

Folding her hand over the bump, Ruby reminded herself she'd just crossed into 16 weeks so it would be 3 more before she felt any kind of movement. She surprised herself by feeling maternal towards the baby she carried-she'd never had a lot of those maternal feelings towards her own baby. Perhaps it was the anger and guilt she'd felt over her first pregnancy, blaming it all on the baby for not developing properly and putting her in such mental turmoil.

Refusing to speculate, Ruby stood up to go to the window where she saw it was raining. Seb had dropped off her clothes and purse from the clinic so she changed into her jeans and loose fitting t-shirt. Sure enough she found it a bit difficult to button up her jeans because of her bump.

Jim slept for much of the day and towards dusk, he was feeling a bit better and more talkative. He demonstrated a voracious appetite which was a very good sign, then nagged Dr. Blair about releasing him to go home.

The second day of his hospitalization, Ruby and Dr. Blair thought it best to get a follow up x-ray to make sure that there wasn't any internal bleeding in Jim's chest cavity.

Thankfully there were no signs of problems so Jim was discharged and Seb took them both home. Cassidy greeted her humans with an indignant meow, telling them she didn't like being home by herself.

"Right upstairs to bed, Jim."

"It's only 6 at night!"

"OK, go sit on the bed. I'll be up after getting you some supper." she gave him a sharp tap on the shoulder. Cassidy led her master upstairs where he got into his pajamas and sat on the bed.

Ruby came into the room, bearing a tray of what she called breakfast for dinner. It was simple and had scrambled eggs with sausage. When they were finished, she took the tray away, came back up, then changed into her nightwear as well.

"Did you grow a little more than yesterday?" Ruby wore simple pajama pants and a camisole top. She sat beside Jim with her legs folded and Cassidy in her lap.

"You'd have to have sharp eyes to see that one." obligingly she pulled up her shirt so Jim could observe. "I'm due for another scan at week 20 in another 3 weeks. Why don't we make that a celebration? I get my scan done and we go out to lunch or something?"

"Sounds like fun. Am I to be in here for that long?"

"Nope. I will be letting you go back to work after this week, OK? Just don't overtax yourself. I know Seb does a great job standing in for you."

"True, he does." Jim seemed to have developed an obsession with Ruby's baby bump, always putting his hands on it whenever he could.

"Are you developing some sort of fetish?" Ruby chuckled as he put one hand on the bump.

"I hope not! Anyway, I'm done with being mad that the baby in there isn't mine."

"You're taken in with the wonder that's associated with being an observer to a pregnant wife. Some husbands are like that."

"I've never seen anything like it," Jim admitted. "I imagine it does become uncomfortable."

"You have no idea, hon."

"You know what? Let's make out!" since Jim's movements were restricted, Ruby took over. She mounted him, kissing him, etc. Jim lay down flat as she began making out with every inch of him she could find.

He moaned and closed his eyes as he felt Ruby begin to pull his pajamas down and put her fingers on his increasingly growing erection. His hips bucked upwards involuntarily as Ruby shed her pajama pants, lowering herself down to take him all in. It was like a warm and slightly wet hug, like coming into a warm kitchen after being outside in the cold and snow.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17: Confessions

It was the last week of April as Ruby went into Dr. Blair's office for the latest ultrasound scan. Jim came down from his office upstairs to join her in the room as Dr. Blair came in, heartily greeting them both. Ruby got onto the table, pulling up her shirt and exposing her pelvis for the scan. She looked like she had swallowed half a basketball now, forcing her to wear loose fitting clothing.

"Blossoming aren't you?" Dr. Blair spread the gel and began to take scans. Ruby rolled her eyes as Jim watched the images onscreen, taking his wife's hand comfortingly. Inwardly he didn't know who needed reassurance more, him or his wife!

"Feels like I'm full term already!"

"Save that for later. You're only at half mast now."

Jim could barely take his eyes off of his wife's bump as it grew to its current size. Ruby hadn't felt any movement at all but she wasn't worried about that. Today was the day they finally get a view of the gender.

"Looks like a little boy!" a very obvious indicator flashed on the screen.

"Aww," Ruby clasped Jim's hand as he found himself clutching it back. "a boy, Jim!"

"My god," he could not speak, eyes latched onto the image on the screen.

Dr. Blair laughed as he printed out an image that Jim took. "Full profile view." Ruby mopped up the gel on her belly and sat up, pulling her shirt back down. "Ruby, my second doctor quit this morning. You can have the job if you want it."

"So Dr. Daniels left?" Jim had heard about it earlier that morning.

"Yes."

"What do you think?"

"I think I want the job! I have to resign from the clinic but I'd be happier in the same building as you, Jim." he helped her to stand up.

"Great! Dr. Blair, you have a subordinate."

Dr. Blair chuckled as Jim pocketed the picture. "I look forward to it!" they left the room, Jim taking Ruby by the waist.

"What do you think of going to Aster to do some groundskeeping? We can take a long weekend there." Jim had been thinking of going to their estate for about a week now, knowing it would be a welcome distraction.

"That's it?" Ruby teased, putting her hands on his shoulders. "I'd be delighted."

"Tomorrow's Friday so we can go out there."

"Wonderful. I have to get some clothes that fit me now and tender in my resignation to the clinic. I'll see you at supper." they kissed and broke apart.

That afternoon, Ruby resigned her post at the clinic and went to a maternity store, buying jeans and flowing tops that made her look like a balloon. She didn't like the nursing bras though she would not be nursing anyway, so she didn't look twice at them.

With a shopping bag full of her purchases, Ruby left the bag in the hallway, then went out to do grocery shopping. When she returned, Cassidy had made her home in the shopping bag, peering up at her owner with a lazy eye. Giggling, Ruby lifted her pet cat from the bag and put her on the floor.

"I let the cat out of the bag." Ruby prepared supper, cheerfully singing to herself over the radio which played on the kitchen windowsill. She sang and danced her way to the oven, setting the timer on the stove.

Closing the fridge door, Ruby straightened up and felt something weird, like a contraction. She gasped and clutched onto the edge of the kitchen countertop, wondering what it was. The doctor gazed outside the window, one hand rubbing her belly, trying to determine what it was she just felt.

The door slammed shut as Jim announced he was home like always. He turned the corner into the kitchen, saying something smelled good when he saw Ruby leaning against the countertop with a pained look on her face, one hand on her belly as she gasped again.

"What is it?" not even taking his jacket off, Jim crossed the threshold over to his wife, not liking the look on her face or the gasp he had just heard. "The baby can't be coming already!"

"No," she said, pulling Jim's hand to her bump. "I didn't recognize this. It hasn't happened in so long."

"Recognize what?" already mystified, Jim stared into his wife's eyes questioningly, head cocked to one side.

"Shh," Ruby commanded. "just wait." she held his hand in place with a little smile on her face, having already figured out what the pains she felt meant.

Jim wondered if his wife had already surrendered to the pregnancy mood swings he'd heard about when there was a definite push against his hand. Ruby glanced at him, a smile blossoming on her face. Jim, open mouthed, gave Ruby a delighted grin as he pushed up her shirt and stared at the bump.

"He won't be kicking a lot in the beginning here," Ruby didn't want to burst Jim's bubble. "still, baby's first push will work."

"That was a push?" things felt more real to him now. The ultrasound images were just pictures but now there was tangible proof that a little baby boy was growing inside his wife.

"Yes it was." she smoothed down her shirt as Jim's smile nearly dazzled her. He drew her into a hug, not minding her bump pressed against him as he kissed her cheek.

"Your belly just kicked me." Jim smirked as Ruby took his hand.

"Of course! Get used to it!" was all she said, giggling. The criminal took her flushed face in his hands and gave her a deep kiss.

The next morning, they were up and ready to leave for Aster Hall, Cassidy coming with them. The cat meowed in her carrier but only a few times as nobody paid attention to her.

Jim wore jeans and a t-shirt, Ruby had on a pretty top which hugged her belly, hiding her flesh in a green and white checked design. She had on matching green jeans and sneakers.

Once they were there, they stowed their gear in Ruby's old room, now classified as theirs. Cassidy went wild in the new place, checking out each room and playing with the carpeting on the stairs. The small bit of groceries they had brought along went right into the fridge, then Ruby brought out a tray of fresh geraniums from the car trunk. She went right to work as Jim brought out his phone and some files he needed to go over. He perched on the arbor near to where Ruby was working so he could keep an eye on her.

The entire afternoon was spent in gardening. Ruby put Jim to work trimming the cypress trees and weeding the front walk. She planted some tulips and geraniums, mulched and fertilized the front garden.

"Break time!" Jim announced merrily, coming out of the door with a loaded tray. Ruby straightened up and walked out of the garden as Jim sat down on the grassy knoll, putting the tray between them. She joined him on the lawn as he handed her a full glass of water.

"So what do you think so far?"

"The garden? Loads better than when I used to live here alone."

"Were you always alone?"

Jim bit his lip and looked up at his wife. In the sunshine she looked radiant to him, happy and healthy. "Well, I had a string of one night stands before you stumbled along into my life."

To her credit, Ruby didn't look surprised at all. "I went through a similar stage, Jim. Then I learned, probably like you did, that sex was nothing unless there was a full relationship behind it that we could build on. One without the other hasn't got a lot of value in it."

Jim stared at her again. "You sound wiser beyond your years."

"I had to be immature for awhile, learn from those experiences and grow up from them," she commented wisely as Jim topped up her glass. "how else would the human race survive?"

"How indeed," he muttered then raised his voice. "I didn't think there was someone out there for me until you. Just another one of God's wacky ways of letting us know there is someone out there."

"Very true. I tend to think of life as God's little tests. He was testing me with my ex boyfriend, even the baby before this one."

It was the first time she ever brought it up. "How long were you in labor before you realized it wasn't going to be born naturally?"

"Two days nearly. I was so weak, Jim. It felt like a stuck cork in a bottle. My body was going to keep trying to eject it until my heart gave out."

The criminal visibly flinched. Ruby finished her snack and continued, "I often wondered why God was challenging me in this way, a child with no brain. Shortly before I went into labor I went to church. I needed a little religious support so I went. Then I realized I wasn't going to give up, Jim. I knew that you would be coming back to me. You love me for a lot of different things, Jim but I know you love me because of my strength and resilience."

There was a lump in Jim's throat he didn't even know about until then. Wordless, he just reached out and caressed the side of his wife's face. Ruby's eyes were shiny with unshed tears as she peered down into his eyes, seeing the same emotion reflected in them.

"You've read in my diary that I hated being on the maternity wing," Ruby's voice hitched a little bit. "it's standard procedure that they do that to an expectant mother and I was one true enough, but I was expecting to go home alone." a lone tear tracked its way down her cheek as she closed her eyes for a moment. "the nurses thought I was a cold heartless bitch, but the harsh reality seemed less so when I faced up to it."

"I'm sorry," Jim choked, trying to clear his eyes. "I wasn't there."

"I wasn't worried about that, Jim. When I came home without a baby in my arms it just crushed me. I allowed myself to feel all the grief and there was a brief period when I was sure I lost my faith. What kind of God would allow a child to be born without a brain and die?" tears were freefalling down her face now.

"There was nothing about that in the diary," Jim nearly bit his tongue. "sorry."

"I didn't put it in because I thought you'd think I was nuts. I didn't think you'd like reading about my breakdown," Ruby admitted. "I didn't want a record of it anywhere anyway."

"I could never think you were nuts," Jim smiled through his unshed tears. "it's human nature to question everything, Ruby."

"Oh, Jim!" Ruby wiped at her eyes. "I look at babies almost every day in the clinic and most of them are so giggly and happy and my pain from my grief has cut me every time. That's why I took the job at your company so I don't have to face babies. Whenever I see a baby I remember my lost one and my pain overtakes me." Ruby began to cry openly now.

Jim pushed the tray away, reached forward, then enveloped his distraught wife in his arms. It may have been late, but he could still offer her comfort. He shed a few tears of his own as he rubbed Ruby's back comfortingly.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18: Relaxing

The couple were still embracing a few moments later. Jim drew his wife into his lap, allowing her to rest her head against his chest as she got her bearings back.

"I'm sorry, Jim." Ruby muttered, feeling a bit ashamed over what she would call a show of weakness. She dabbed at her eyes with a tissue she pulled out of her back pocket.

"Hey, none of that. I'm your husband, you don't have to do that to me." he admonished her gently. "You don't really feel like gardening any more today, do you?"

"After I just emotionally broke down in front of you? Nah." she pulled away a little bit and Jim saw the necklace again.

"Besides Ruby, I think you gave the greatest gift of all to several special kids."

"I know."

"You did it out of love," Jim did not have to embellish that at all. "they know it and thanks to you they can reciprocate."

"They can," Ruby had exhausted herself and she wasn't able to talk anymore. Jim was about to get her to stand up when both of them felt a little push. "the boy pushed!" she didn't seem like she would ever get tired of that sensation.

"Time for you two to rest." he helped her up and brought her into the house along with the tray. Ruby and Jim sat down on the couch in the living room and chose to watch a few movies until suppertime.

After supper they watched a few more movies then retired upstairs to bed. Ruby had already changed and gotten into bed, Jim was standing at the vanity brushing his teeth. He tidied up and let his mind wander for a minute. What would it have been like if their baby had lived with a normal brain? He would have hired a nanny to take care of it, and likely would have become a distant father figure. Ruby would have been a loving mother certainly, but there were some things she was inflexible about and she didn't like babies very much.

In a cold hearted way, Jim was glad the baby hadn't survived. He wouldn't have to make compromises that would cramp his lifestyle and knew that Ruby would feel the same way.

Yawning, Jim glanced at the fireplace, happy that he didn't have to light it. It was early May now so there was adequate warmth inside and out.

Ruby had collapsed in bed without drawing up the covers. Her pajama pants were riding down a little bit and her bump was bare. Jim giggled, pulling the sheets up so it covered her legs. He sat down on the edge of the bed running his hand lightly across her bump. A little shadow ran across Ruby's skin showing Jim a faint outline of baby's foot.

A powerful little kick made Ruby's flesh jump and down. Jim was enchanted by that. Look as he might the baby did not kick again.

"Good things never last forever." Jim was committed to enjoying the experience as much as he could, keeping Seb's advice to his heart and head. Ruby didn't know it, but Jim had borrowed a book of prospective adoptive couples who wanted children; they could go over the book later together if she wanted.

The criminal got into the bed beside Ruby as he pulled the sheet up over her body, admiring how the small bump had made the sheets stick up a little bit.

Ruby was relaxing in the spa tub, sitting down in the grooved seat while her legs were splayed out in front of her. She reclined back as the water lapped in front and behind her. She washed her hair and cleaned up, gazing at her bump as it stuck up clear of the water.

Prolonged soaking in the tub always hurt her coccyx so she inflated a few water pillows and sat on them. Soaping up her bump, she caressed it almost erotically as she scrubbed and rinsed the soap off of her. There was a gentle nudge from inside as if the baby was signaling something. Ruby sighed in happiness, running both of her hands down the bump slowly, hopefully tickling the unborn baby.

Very relaxed now, she finished up and pulled the drain. Water gurgled down the pipes with a loud sound as Ruby got up, went over to the vanity, wrapping herself up in a towel. She dried off quickly, drip dried her hair, then put her robe back on. Jim had just entered the room with a book in one hand.

"What's that?" she'd forgotten to tie the sash as Jim eyed her, giving a wolf whistle.

"Babe, you look marvelous. Naked is how I love ya!" he growled as she kissed him, giving him a doglike bark.

"What is that book anyhow?"

"Well, I remember you were talking adoption so I brought a book of potential adoptive sterile couples. You can go over this whenever you want."

"You don't want to go over it with me?"

"Babe, you can narrow down the final three then I can help you choose one or interview them. Your choice."

"I think that would be appropriate." Ruby decided, tossing the book on her desk. "For the moment though, you've got me all worked up. What are you going to do now?"

"I'll tell you what I won't be doing,"

"Oh?"

"Leaving this room anytime soon." Jim pushed her into the chaise lounge, tugging his clothes off and pulling her robe sleeves off. He had to get a little more clearance above the bump for penetration, but Ruby stuffed a few pillows under her butt to help him.

"These look bigger than I imagined." the criminal eyed Ruby's ample cleavage.

"The baby's making me do it. By the time I give birth they'll be fully engorged with no place to go."

"So all that milk inside you just stays there?"

"It gets reabsorbed into my body yes."

"Maybe you should get that surgery," he boosted up her butt, spreading her legs.

"I'm a poor surgical risk all knocked up!" she protested, feeling Jim slide into her easily. Her husband did not say any more knowing she was right, and also knowing no insurance would cover it. They were filthy rich people, but Jim and Ruby both would not throw their money away on surgery purely for cosmetic or medically unnecessary surgeries.

The couple had sex several times that day and when it was dinnertime, Jim collapsed onto the bed next to his wife who was still flushed pink from their efforts. He glanced over at her as he felt some color rise into his own cheeks.

"We look better when we've just had sex," Ruby commented, sitting up in bed with her hands on her bump. "feel better too."

"I'll agree to that. What do you want for supper?" both of them left the bed and put their clothes back on. Ruby picked up her damp hair, wove it into a braid, then tossed it back between her shoulders.

"You still can't cook!" she giggled as Jim smacked her butt playfully. They walked down to the kitchen, pulling out some items so that Ruby could make chicken and rice that night. It was one of Jim's favorite comfort foods so she made it with him in mind.

A kick to her ribcage during supper seemed to indicate the baby's approval as well. Ruby only let out a little gasp and rubbed her belly where he had hit her. Jim was getting used to Ruby's little gasps when the baby moved inside her so he didn't look up.

"I'm getting a signal from the inside that the baby's enjoying this too."

"Really?" Jim took a drink.

"Yep. He kicked."

"How do you tell when he kicks or pushes?"

"I don't know," Ruby giggled. "a push is different in a way it's slower and more deliberate than a kick which is faster I guess."

"Makes sense." Jim's phone rang. Ruby tidied up while Jim went into the living room to talk with a client. Both of them finished up at the same time and went upstairs to the bedroom.

"We can just hang out.." Jim and Ruby lay down on the bed together, she lay out supine as Jim sat with his legs folded. He positioned himself so his wife's bump was right in front of him. The criminal noticed some red stretch marks on the skin so he asked Ruby where she kept the lotion for it.

"Should be right there with the makeup." Ruby indicated her makeup table. Jim reached over to pick up the jar and leaned back again so he didn't fall off the bed. Ruby stretched as she heard Jim uncap the jar and smelled the whiff of the moisturizing lotion.

"Just lay back now." Jim whispered tantalizingly.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19: Interviews

Jim smeared a big dose of the lotion onto the bump, using both hands to work the lotion in with his fingers well. Ruby sighed in relief as the coolness of the lotion eased the itchiness of her overstretched belly. She wasn't full term yet and due to get bigger soon and she already thought she was too big.

"Think he'll move for me?" Jim took another gob of lotion from the jar, slathering it on generously.

"He might. We'll know soon enough."

"He's an active unborn baby isn't he?"

"Very much so. He has his quiet times like other babies. I'm happy I can get through the night."

"I'm glad too. You're a bitch when you're cranky."

Ruby laughed at Jim as he finished his task and put the jar away. "You are too!"

Jim could not say anything to that so he seized Ruby's legs, dragging her so their faces were only two or three inches apart. He began to make out with her, taking her shirt off and putting his hands on her already swollen chest. As he kept their lips together he began to massage each one of her breasts which stiffened and perked up under his attentions.

"I forget, when are you due?"

"I'll give birth sometime mid August I think, maybe September. Getting attached to the bump aren't you?"

"I can't say anything you won't use against me!" Jim knew better than to answer a trick question like that as Ruby burst out giggling.

"That boob massage feels really good, Jim." she moaned, eyes half closed. "You have magic hands."

"I'm glad you think so. Don't forget tomorrow is Sunday so we need to leave by lunchtime."

'Already?" she play-whined.

"Alas yes. We can stay a week here in July. Business is always slow then." Jim peered down at Ruby's bump. "Unless the baby has other ideas."

"He'll still be inside me I'm sure. I should probably start attending birth classes but I've never been one for all that crap," Ruby turned on her side as she picked up Jim's hands. They were long and blunt tipped, yet very capable of the work he had to do. He had skills with his hands that had the power to turn her into a giddy little girl or bring her to her knees with them.

Ruby knew she should give the adoption book a look through so she did that. With Jim by her side, she narrowed down her choices to two couples that she wanted to interview in person.

"We can set that up on Monday." Jim yawned. "It's getting late, honey."

"I suppose." both of them took care of their bedtime routines and collapsed into bed. Jim spooned his wife happily as she turned out the light.

Two weeks later Jim had arranged for an interview with the first family Ruby had selected, the Tarboxes. The couple had been accepted into the family home which was simply beautiful. Ruby sat down primly on the couch, glad she had dressed appropriately for the occasion. Jim was next to her, one hand in hers.

Peter Tarbox was six feet three inches tall, average build, wearing a three piece suit. He had steely blue eyes, hair that was dyed a determined black, and his wife looked like a slightly less severe version of himself. Both of them had identical cold and calculating looks in their eyes like they were daring Jim and Ruby to find anything wrong with their house.

To Jim's mind Peter was a lot like the clients who came to him wanting him to do all sorts of illegal shenanigans for personal gain. His grip tightened up on Ruby's hand as the other couple mentioned that their only son was a fervent disappointment to the family.

Even though they were not asked why, Peter ranted on about his son dishonoring the family through rebellious teenager methods like joyriding, trying pot and so on. To Ruby's ears this was just a normal part of being a teenager and it was clear Jim thought so too.

The wife, Ida, crossed her arms and looked personally insulted when Jim and Ruby declined refreshment. This was a power couple who were too used to getting their own way and it didn't take long for Ruby to decide that hell would freeze over before they would get her baby.

What Jim noticed was that Peter and Ida kept shooting covetous looks at Ruby's baby bump. He imagined that they thought it was a prize to be won or a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but Jim's gaze hardened.

"Why don't we get the paperwork started then, eh?" Peter brought out a folder full of adoption papers. Ida sat on the recliner, leveling her icy stare at the younger couple.

"No," Jim stood up with Ruby.

"I beg your pardon?"

"We said no," Ruby clarified as she drew her jacket on. "you haven't asked us anything about ourselves nor why we want to give up the baby. All we have is you breaking your arm congratulating yourself on your achievements. Your wife has the personality of a robot, and you punish your teen son for acting like a teen."

"You have no right questioning my parenting!" Peter jumped up at Ruby but Jim got in the way.

He had been looking forward to this moment. Jim let his contempt ooze out into his voice, going into bad guy Moriarty mode. "We said no," the singsong on the end of the word no always meant trouble. "now let us aside so we can leave this den."

"How dare you say no to us-"

"Still a free country no matter how you look at it," Jim got right in his face. "we are leaving now and mark my words; if you interfere with us in any way again, I will burn you with two fingers," he snapped his fingers menacingly. "I trust there are no objections."

Peter appeared slightly mollified now as Ruby and Jim left the house.

"Ugh," Ruby groaned as she dragged her seatbelt across her baby bump. "who's next on the list?"

"The Chapmans. They don't live too far from here." Jim crossed off Tarbox making a note they were rich assholes who were used to getting their own way.

"All right."

"Feeling OK?"

Ruby put her hand to her bump. "Yeah, fine. Happy that one was a miss. I'm 22 weeks now so I know the boy is going to start getting more active now."

"That's all right. When is your next scan?"

"Soon as I turn to the six month mark which is I believe 28 weeks so 6 weeks."

Jim said no more as they drove to the Chapman house. The saltbox style house was a little ramshackle, paint peeling in places but the porch looked like it had been fixed up recently. The couple rang the bell and a plump pleasant looking woman beamed at them and showed them inside.

"I'm Marjorie or Margie Chapman and this is my husband Bill."

"Hiya!" Bill was prematurely balding, a little plump like his wife. They both had merry blue eyes and a very cheerful disposition. Ruby felt herself at ease in their presence as they gestured them to sit down on the couch.

"We tried to have children for several years," Margie looked downcast. "then we couldn't afford the treatments anymore. I've had several miscarriages and the therapist we see advised us to stop trying. It was only ending in heartbreak." Bill reached for his wife's hand and held it.

Jim and Ruby exchanged a look and nodded to themselves. There were a few things that Ruby wanted to explain first.

"I want you both to understand that strictly speaking this isn't our baby," Ruby began, taking her jacket off and displaying the bump. "I was the victim of a rape so Jim here isn't the biological father. I don't even know the real father's name but I do know he's dead. He died in a car accident a few days later."

"You poor dear," Margie exclaimed.

"Thank you, Margie. The reason we are putting this baby up for adoption isn't because of his paternity, it's because that we have can't afford to give this baby the care and attention he deserves."

"Please, we won't judge you," Bill interrupted. "all we want is to adopt officially and give him the life we had growing up." it was obvious the Chapmans came from good stock and were warmhearted individuals.

"I think then, we ought to start the paperwork." Jim smiled at them. Bill's enormous smile dazzled them as Margie jumped up and clasped her hands. The adoptive parents went over all of the paperwork which Bill said he would file the next day.

"So you have a boy inside you?" Margie's hands hovered over Ruby's bump. "May I?"


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20: Due Date

Ruby took her hands and pressed them to her belly. Both were rewarded with a kick.

"Aw! Did you have a name picked out?"

"No, Margie. He's a boy, you name him."

"Arthur Richard Chapman," she happily declared. "our fathers' names."

"Sounds regal." Jim noted.

At the six month mark May was almost gone by when Ruby walked out of the doctor's office, Dr. Blair giving the picture to the adoptive parents. Jim had been there as well for Ruby but he was in a way glad that the Chapmans filled the role of excited parents for him. It was a bit hard to muster up feelings for an unborn child that wasn't his. He was fond of the baby but not to a father extent.

Ruby had grown some more as Arthur began to put more weight on. She could not see her feet now if she laid down and the baby had gotten a little more active.

After supper, she had sunk down in the bathtub, enjoying the bubble bath and seeing how her belly loomed up now above the water. Ruby washed her belly thoroughly. She felt the baby's kicks and buffets now through her uterus and skin, somehow getting sharper than before.

When she got out of the tub she put on her robe, tying the sash and making her belly stick out even more. Jim was reading in bed so by the time she got to her side of the bed, his eyes were on her bump.

When she was six months gone, Ruby began to pull up the covers when Jim stopped her.

"What?"

"You're big now," he pulled up her nightgown to take in the full view of her belly. "I have no trouble thinking now that there is a baby inside you."

Before Ruby could reply, the belly stretched and contorted grotesquely as Ruby gasped and made a grunt of pain.

"What was that?" Jim had never seen her bump stretch out like that before.

"It was the baby, Jim," Ruby started giggling. "he just turned himself head down so he's in the correct birth position now."

"I'll be," he put his hand on the bump. "so what is this part now?"

"An upside down baby. What your hand is on right now is his ass." she moved his hand down front. "That's his back and you won't be able to feel his head now it's engaged my pelvis." Ruby showed him a medical illustration of a baby head down in the uterus.

"So that's what it is."

"Indeed it is. So let's go to sleep so we're fresh for tomorrow." they had a full day ahead of them.

Ruby's due date approached for delivery. It was now mid August and her date was the twentieth. She didn't want maternity leave at all but she needed to heal from the whole giving birth process so she settled for taking a two week vacation.

One day when she was the doctor in charge of the post anesthesia care unit she was writing notes on a chart, noticing the baby was kicking hard. Ruby felt no pain at all so it definitely wasn't labor. She was irritated by the fact she had to piss so much now, the heartburn was getting to her, and sleeping at night was becoming rare.

"How are you doing?" Dr. Blair asked.

"The baby won't stop moving," she complained. "I can't really sleep at night."

"Sounds about right. Just keep my number on speed dial."

"Jim and I are adopting this child out. We can't let the parents come in this building."

"Just call me and I'll get you a room at St. Bart's. I'll do everything."

"All right." she agreed.

That night Jim watched Ruby walk into the room, crossing over to the bathroom. "How about a tub for two?"

She lit up happily at that prospect, ran the bath water, then undressed, slipping into the tub easily. Jim got into the tub next to her with a wolfish grin on his face. Ruby's nine month belly stuck up now like a sore thumb but Jim didn't mind it at all. He began deep kissing his wife, taking the soap and washing her erotically. She returned the favor and they somehow got clean in the limited space of the tub. Not for the first time they wished they had the oversized tub at Aster Hall.

Seemingly welded together at the mouth, Jim yanked the plug on the tub, guided Ruby out, wrapped her in a towel as she did the same to him, then they went into the bedroom. Ruby allowed Jim to push her onto the bed, taking her towel off of her and tossing that on the floor.

Jim took off his towel, threw it on the floor, necked his wife, then put his hands on the baby bump. He watched for a moment as something rose up inside of her and went back down again like a whale surfacing for air.

"Was that the baby?" Ruby laughed gaily, taking Jim's hands and getting herself to sit up. Her lap was now completely obscured from her view but that was all right as she and Jim saw another movement which looked like a kick and a push.

"That hurt!" she exclaimed. "OW! Sometimes he gets hung up right here." on the right side of belly a little foot made an indent there. Jim pushed it back but it insisted on kicking again.

"We could play that game all night, Jim." Ruby kissed Jim, lying back down on the bed again. It was cumbersome with the big belly in the way, but Jim and Ruby were not thinking about that. She was hot for him, he was for her, so Jim gave her enough foreplay to get her motor running.

"I think I can't get enough of you tonight," Ruby declared, necking her husband enthusiastically. "give it to me, Jim."

"I won't hurt the baby?"

"Of course not!"

The next day was Saturday so Jim did not have to go into work. He and Ruby decided to go to the local swimming pool. When they got there, it was strangely bare of tourists so they had the place to themselves. Jim jumped into the pool in his Bermuda swim trunks and Ruby came in wearing a Hawaiian print tankini swimsuit. Privately Jim thought she looked like she was bursting out of the swimsuit because of the baby but he kept it to himself.

Jim swam laps back and forth across the pool as Ruby floated on her back, not wanting to tax herself too much. She closed her eyes so she didn't have to see the skin tight tankini top and baby bump.

"God, I hope I give birth soon." Ruby groaned. "The baby's been in the pool for the past nine months, so to speak."

"Can't wait to shed that baby weight, eh?" Jim wisecracked.

"Right! It's the easiest eight pounds I ever lost!" Ruby swam over to Jim and kissed him, giggling as he put a hand on her overstretched belly. "My uterus is right up against my ribcage now so my balance is really off."

"Is that why you wanted the pool today?" she hadn't been wobbly on her legs at all that he'd noticed.

"It's a nice change of pace, don't you think?"

"Of course. So, where do you want to go while you recover from delivering this baby?"

"Ow! Jim, every time he hears your voice he has to react."

"Really?"

"Yes, Jim. It seems that the baby likes you. Every time your put your hand on my belly he kicks and pushes me."

"Wow. I am fond of him but I don't want to be a father."

"And I don't want to be a mother. I like the jet setting lifestyle you have, Jim. Where are you going next?"

"I have some new contacts in Florence. You can go with me."

"I would love to. Oh, ow!" Ruby put a hand on her bump as a serious pain hit her uterus.

"Is the baby kicking?"

"I think that the baby's coming!"


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21: Delivery

The contractions were coming in, three every ten minutes that Ruby timed. Jim helped her wrap herself in a towel, setting her on a deck chair while he changed, got her things, then bundled her into the car. As he helped her lean in and shut the door, he could hardly believe that the baby inside Ruby at that moment would be making his debut entrance after being inside her for so long.

"My water better not break on these beautiful leather seats!" Ruby groaned as another fiery spasm lashed at her uterus. She was fastidious about her car and liked to keep it in good shape. Jim merely chuckled as his wife pulled out her phone and called Dr. Blair.

"Yeah, I can tell the contractions are regular and intense," she paused to gasp for air. "he's ready to make his debut. We're heading for Bart's."

With the affirmation the doctor would be there and waiting for her, Ruby glanced at Jim. "You don't have to stay with me throughout labor Jim, if you don't want to."

"Why would I not?" he pulled out of the parking garage and headed for the hospital.

"Never mind." she closed her eyes, trying not to grind her teeth together with the pain.

They reached Bart's in record time, Dr. Blair installed them in a nice private room, then had Ruby strip down to put a hospital johnny on. She endured a pelvic exam, external fetal monitoring, then the doctor left, promising to look in on them every hour.

The first stage of Ruby's labor lasted about three hours. She spent the time trying to ignore her pain with Jim as they chatted and watched TV. Ruby declined pain medicine, determining that she wanted a natural birth if it was at all possible. She also said no to a water birth, knowing that hospitals charged way too much money for that kind of thing. In spite of all the baths she'd taken while pregnant, Ruby recoiled from the thought of laboring in a tub where others had been before her.

Jim seemed to feel the same way. Staying in a tub where she would deliver a child and then be awash in the afterbirth and everything that went with it was abhorrent to both of them. They sharply said no to anything they didn't want, shooting down a representative from the waterbirth section of the hospital.

"Taking a tub to clean up is one thing," Ruby was sitting on the bed with Jim behind her, his arms around her shoulders. "but to be there in your own afterbirth and blood is not for me."

"I hear you." Jim conceded.

Ruby was about to make a joke when she became aware of something going on inside her. The baby's head which was engaged in her pelvis, slid forward a few inches.

"Oh, boy!" thankfully she didn't have any wires or IV tubing so she could make a dash for the bathroom and stand in the shower stall as her water broke. Taking a towel, she cleaned herself up, reappearing in front of her worried husband.

"What is it?"

"My water broke. We are definitely having this baby tonight." it was 4 PM and Ruby was hoping that it would be born before midnight.

Ruby cried out in pain as the contractions got even more intense, causing her knees to buckle. Jim picked her up and put her on the bed before ringing for the nurse. A quick exam revealed she was almost fully dilated.

"The doctor may want to augment that a little bit when he gets here," the nurse explained. "you'll be seeing your little one before you know it!"

"Not if I can help it," Ruby muttered to Jim who smirked. He was well aware of Ruby not wanting to even look at the baby once it was born. She was avoiding the baby in order not to become attached to him once she pushed him out. There was a hint of regret in her voice that it wasn't her and Jim's child.

"I wish this was our child, Jim. I really do." Ruby glanced up at him with an expression that could be described as longing which startled the criminal. He wondered what kind of pain medicine they had her on, but she wasn't intubated.

Wondering if she was delirious he asked, "With our lifestyle, traveling and all of that?"

"Do you really not want children ever? Is this just a fear of yours?" the pelvic pressure of the baby moving down was starting to distract her. Ruby hoped that the nurse would return with the doctor so they could get her delivered.

He cleared his throat. "My dad didn't exactly treat me very well growing up, Ruby. I vowed I would never become like him."

"Oh, I see. I had a great but distant dad growing up. Think of it, Jim. A new generation of Moriarty to carry on your criminal enterprises or become a doctor like me."

"Well, why don't we talk about this later?" he inquired. "You're in a lot of pain right now and I think it would be best not to discuss it."

"Right.." Ruby was already feeling sleepy but she knew she would not sleep until the baby was delivered safely. Jim rubbed her hands with his, leaning down and feeling the baby kick and push for the last time.

"You might miss this kicking and moving around inside you." Jim understood that much. He remembered in her diary she never felt alone while the fetus was active inside her.

"I will."

"Are you addicted to being pregnant?" he teased. "You can bear children for infertile couples. I don't care." that wasn't true. Jim would mind very much but he would not say so at that point in time.

Ruby chuckled at her husband as Dr. Blair knocked once and came in. He had Ruby put her feet up in the stirrups while he checked her progress. Jim sat back on an uncomfortable molded plastic chair as he began to contemplate his wife's words. What would he be like as a dad?

"Fully dilated!" the doctor trumpeted. "Now when you feel a contraction you can push like you've never pushed before!" a nurse began to coach Ruby on pushing, counting to ten and telling Ruby to breathe out. She did that several times before Ruby got very annoyed.

"Count one more time and I'll throw you out!" she snapped. "Tell me when to push and when to exhale!" sweating profusely and panting like she'd run a foot race, Ruby allowed Jim to mop her brow when he looked up to see the Chapmans had arrived and were clustered outside the door. With a glance at Ruby who nodded, Jim went out to talk to the adoptive parents.

"It's going to be any time now." Jim's hands were aching and sore from when Ruby would grab onto them and nearly crush them when a contraction hit. Bill glanced at his hands and procured two cups of ice, which Jim gratefully dunked his hands in with a sigh.

"The poor dear!" Margie exclaimed. "Would she mind if I went in?"

Ruby let out a guttural moan ending in a cry of "Margie!" Margie dashed into the room, seizing one of Ruby's hands and putting a cold cloth on her head. The nurse took Ruby's other hand and continued to coach her through the process of giving birth. Dr. Blair was at the ready, on a stool parked in front of Ruby's spread legs.

"Don't want to go in there, son?" Bill gently asked Jim.

"I'm afraid she'll break something else belonging to me." Jim said ruefully, holding up his hands. Bill laughed.

"I hear you, Jim. Come on, we should go in anyway to be there. Margie and Ruby would not forgive us you know." Jim sighed and left the ice filled cups where they were on a coffee table.

Both of them were just in time to see the head protruding out as Dr. Blair suctioned out the mouth and nose. The baby was born after the shoulder cleared the opening and the rest of the infant slid out very easily.

"Give this little guy a bath, nurse. Time of birth: 11:30 PM." Dr. Blair handed the baby over. The nurse looked dismayed that the doctor didn't put the baby on Ruby for skin to skin contact but did as the doctor wanted her to. Jim noticed Ruby's glare at the nurse and put his hand on her shoulder, reminding her silently not to say anything she would regret. Margie took a wet washcloth and mopped Ruby's face and arms down, cleaning off the sweat.

"So what's the name of this little guy?" the doctor produced a birth certificate.

"Arthur Richard Chapman." Margie announced happily. The nurse swaddled the baby and handed him off to Jim who had no choice but to take it.

Holding Arthur in his arms seemed to make a big difference to Jim. His features softened up as he observed the little life in his arms. He'd often heard babies had that effect on people, the overwhelming desire to keep the child safe and protect him with everything that he had. Little Arthur gazed up at Jim through slitted eyes as the criminal extended his hand to tickle the little baby under his chin. A little arm shot up from the blanket and grabbed Jim's index finger.

"So you're the one bouncing around inside my wife for the past nine months." for a newborn Arthur had a strong grip on Jim's finger. "Finally we meet."

Bill and Margie giggled as Dr. Blair began delivering the afterbirth. Ruby was instructed to push a few times and that was it. Jim didn't take his eyes off of Arthur, imagining what it would be like to be responsible for his care and watch him grow up. Seb had sometimes waxed nostalgic about his son was growing up into a young adult and the adolescent years were gone forever.

What he didn't know was that Ruby was watching him and she read his expression clearly. She was thinking among similar lines but she would have a talk with him later. Right now she was far too tired and sleepy for any kind of deep discussion.

"You did so well my dear," Dr. Blair soothed her. "you can sleep now." she gratefully closed her eyes. "Nurse, Ms. Gray here has problems with lactating so you can start formula feeding within an hour or so."

"Yes sir." they left the room.

"You look very natural holding Arthur, Jim," Margie told him in a calming voice. "you would be a great dad."

"Think so?" Arthur hadn't even cried once so far. He seemed to be a very calm and mellow baby so far. He fussed a little bit as they suctioned out his lungs but that was it. The baby had fallen asleep in Jim's arms, seemingly melting the criminal's heart. Jim leaned down and gave the baby a kiss on the forehead, unable to help himself.

"Nobody's ever truly ready to become a parent until the child is right in front of you." Bill nodded. "Just make sure you're committed."

"I agree with that wholeheartedly," maybe someday the baby he'd be holding would be his own. Reluctantly he gave Bill and Margie their son.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22: End Result

All went well with Ruby's postpartum recovery and she was discharged to go home about two days later. The Chapmans, enchanted with Arthur right from the start, gently encouraged the Moriartys to think about children of their own if that was what they really wanted.

Almost as soon as Arthur was born, Ruby had difficulty keeping her eyes open. She managed to hold on until the afterbirth was delivered and at the doctor's permission, let her eyelids slam shut. Jim, displaying his impish sense of humor, pulled her hospital johnny down, running his hands over her belly, then said in a low voice, "Easiest eight pounds to shed, eh?"

Ruby giggled, opening up her eyes. "Hi, Jim."

"Hi yourself. You've been asleep for almost 12 hours. Aren't you hungry?"

"I am! When can we escape here?" she peeled off the hospital johnny, dumping it into the linens bin. Jim wrapped her up in a sheet to conceal her nakedness, giving her a smooch. Ruby giggled as she picked up her messenger bag.

"As soon as Dr. Blair gets here." the doctor, knowing how impatient Jim and Ruby both were, gave them some instructions on her postpartum care, pronounced them free to go, and gave them a prescription for some pain medicine in case she needed it.

Back at home, they had lunch and Jim installed Ruby on the couch with the TV remote. They spent a companionable few hours together, not saying much until the Vincent Price movie they had been watching came to an end.

"I like that name Vincent." Ruby said thoughtfully, putting one hand on her belly absentmindedly like she used to. It took a moment before she remembered that her baby occupant had been born the night before.

"Me too." Jim joined her hand.

"I saw you with the baby," Ruby smiled. "You were thinking about any children we might have together someday."

"Well," Jim flushed red. "I was."

"It's all right. You were thinking about how you would protect the child with everything you have got in you and seeing how precious life is." of all the memories Ruby had of the past 24 hours the most vivid was her seeing Jim with little Arthur.

"You gave that a lot of thought."

"I've handled babies before, Jim."

"True. Still the reasons not to become a dad don't really stack up with the comparison of nurturing a son or daughter."

"You were trying to scare yourself out of it," Ruby wasn't being accusatory. She had been scared before she gave birth to their baby. "I've done it too."

"What if our baby is born with some other defect?" Jim couldn't hold in his concerns. "I want a full baby with all their parts-"

"Do you hear yourself?" Ruby took his hand. "You're sounding paternal, Jim."

"How about that?" he chuckled nervously.

"It's OK to be nervous. Besides, why don't we give ourselves time first?" Ruby tucked her shirt down so Jim saw that she still looked pregnant. "My belly has to deflate back to normal and it's not advisable to have children for another six months to a year at least."

The conversation had been getting a bit too heavy for Jim so he put both hands on her postpartum belly and mimed trying to push it down amid Ruby's laughing.

"How much time to you need to really recover? I have plans."

"Give me at least a month. What are your plans?"

"You'll see. I've been busy setting up a new network in Italy for the past two years and I think it's time you and I make an appearance to see how it's going over there. Play our cards right timing wise and a baby could be conceived in one of the most beautiful places in the world."

"Ooooh.. I can't wait! The Italian Renaissance here I come!"

"We need to be careful and I want us to take language courses in Italian. There are bandits and bizarre occult practices out there."

"Let's take at least about 9 months to a year of learning Italian, Jim. I want to be proficient."

"There's my girl," he kissed her. "so how long can we have unprotected sex?"

"We can't, honey. I think we need to wait at least a year before we talk about conceiving a child, all right?" Ruby's hands rested on her bump.

"Now that you've given birth I don't suppose you'd be willing to get pregnant again so soon." he was reasonable.

"Not now. I'm happy that you are entertaining the idea of starting a family. We should always talk about it first then act on it."

"Now that you have had a baby would you be more loose downstairs?"

Ruby laughed until she nearly cried, knowing that Jim was just joking around with her. Jim poked her side then relaxed back on the couch until she was in his arms. Ruby raised herself up on her forearms, giving Jim a kiss. "Still, the thought of you and me having sex in a nice Italian villa overlooking the ocean, flowers everywhere does sound wonderful." she could just imagine the scene.

"It does, my love," Jim mused. "we will get there in time."

"The best things in life are worth waiting for." the two engaged in a long and passionate kiss.

END


End file.
